ok so i moved out of my apartment and it has been very very sad for me cuz i'm used to the companionship i had before i am used to constant contact with the one woman that i love. and i'm used to kids bugging me and making me pay attention to them. and guess what i loved that. one of the hardest things that i have to get used to is not having the kids around i love them to death i spent almost 2 years with them and for the last year i practically spent 24/7 with them so going into my quiet and empty room is very heartbreaking to me. they say time heals all wounds but it feels as if mine never will and deep down i know this is true because instead of one gaping hole in my heart i get three, and at times i miss her so much it is unbearable. but you can't force someone to love you if they don't even love themselves and i know she will move on and probably doesn't even miss me at all. and it is very sad i enjoyed being married i loved going around saying no not interested i have a loving wife at home and now i am practically afraid of women in general cuz to be honest i don't care about sex that is the last thing i usually think about i love hanging out talking and cuddling the night away all i want is to find a woman that is resolute in her mind that she wants one guy (that's me) and will not cheat i can handle  pretty much anything else but cheating just affects me so much. i'd do anything for someone that i love. my friends and family think its a good thing that this happened and i wish i could share their enthusiasm but i can't maybe in time but not right now. for now i guess i have to try and stay strong and move on with my life i at least wish she would try and talk to me about moving on since we never really got that chance but i have to wait till she is ready cuz she knows how to contact me. i wish i could fast forward and have this pain disapear and look at this as a learning experience well sorry for being all over but lately i've been on an emotional rollercoaster and i hope i can get off soon.......