My 20th Birthday: October 11, 2007.

My Plans:
My birthday this year happens to fall on a Thursday...Which in the college world is usually a good thing. The appropriatley titled "Thirsty Thursday" has become a weekly tradition as most students will go to extrordinary measures to ensure that they do not have to schedule a Friday class. I had high hopes for this birthday, but I am beginning to feel like I am the only one who really cares what I am doing...Maybe my expectations are too high, but I feel like someone (i.e. my roommates, in town friends, or boyfriend) should take it upon themself to get me excited about my own birthday and attempt to make plans with me instead of me trying to ask people to do something with me on my own birthday. Originally, my boyfriend (who lives out of town) was supposed to come for dinner and partying and stay. He does have a Thursday night class at home (which he has skipped before to go on a "party bus") and a full time job that he would have to take off on Friday (which may be difficult because he has missed the last two days since he has been sick) so anyway, now it just looks like he's not going to be able to come out. I just feel really alone. Like I might end up cooking for myself or getting fast food on my own birthday. I don't feel loved today. I feel sorry for myself. I know, it's still over a week off, but I'm just moody I guess. And all alone.

I don't know if I want to be here anymore. (at school) I loved my job at home. I was waitressing all summer in a great restaurant with great people and I made good money. I haven't made friendships out here that I think will really last. Besides one of my roommates, and one other friend here I don't really have a "go to" person (and even they're not really always there) My boyfriend and I want to move in together. It's a thought that makes me really happy and scares me to death at the same time. I mean at times he's the most thoughtful person, like last night he drove all the way here from home just to stay with me even though he had to get up extra early for work. Then other times, I wonder if he even cares (he knows I'm concerned about my birthday but offers no solution) I guess I'm just whining, although I hope this works itself out soon or I might lose it.