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| Thought of the Day #2 |
THOUGHT OF THE DAY: "There's never an ounce that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been if you didn't leave" - Come Home by Eyes Set To Kill
That particular line of the song has been on my head all day. Probably because it relates to the thoughts I connect it with. And what are my thoughts? Same thoughts that find their way to crawl into my happy day: Brian. Seems like no matter what, even if it's just late at night, he's always there. The thought of him doesnt really hurt me anymore though- i'm just numb. I use to get sad and teary whenever I thought of him, but not after 5 months....5 months since the last time I saw him. I still can't believe I've been able to go on. I guess that's what time is for, to heal. But more than healing, I've become numb. I'm no longer sad, but I no longer feel. I live each day with not much enthusiasm or excitement for tomorrow. No more secret meetings. No more late night calls. No more "good night" or "good morning" text messages. No more excitement for the next encounter. It's all gone now, no longer will it come back. I've learned to accept it, but I still dont understand how I've come this far without him. I feel dead now- there's no one who can make me feel as happy and alive as he once did. After two years with him, how can someone come and easily replace him? It's impossible. I know everyone tells me that there is always better, and there is. But you'll never live the same twice. No two people will leave the same mark in your life. I guess my mistake was to always expect more and more of him when all he was doing was being hiself.
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Posted by yanfeb15 on 2009-11-02 18:50:23 | Rating: | Views: 7
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