i don't mean to gloat about my life but to be honest- i am very well off. I have a large house, big, loving family, steady job, great education and i don't see bankrupsy on the horizon any time soon so really i shouldn't be complaining but  am i missing something?
i am living the proverbial dream but its not like richy rich promised.
theres just this big hole, which no body apparently can see exept me and every day i am drawing closer to hole- about to fall in. what comes out the other side? a byproduct of lief i like call lettuce- some thing that fills the void but doesn't really taste that good, something that poeple always have but never really want- a mere formality in the big sandwhich.
Here, i'll explain; This lettuce i talk about- i'm talkign about people- every day people- they wear jeans adn plain t-shirt every day, are a size 12, drive a white pulsar and live the prescibed existance of going through school, getiing married, have 2.7 children adn then settleign down. THey are lettuce.
I don't want to be lettuce, i want to be roket- the peppery stlylish cousin of lettuce.
I'm wonering if my dream life is really just a seguay into the lettuce producing hole and i don't wan it to be.
I want to experiance the world, to live in a foegn country, to transport my way around usign man power, to have an influence on the decisions people make, to make and impact on someone,- to live! i just wan to live. i don't want to fall into the hole of expectation and become liek the lettuce, i want to be more, more that a watery, bland, space filler in this world.
So apparently i'm missing something in my great life and i have to go out and find it and with out meanign to sound cliche- although by writting this blog i really have caused a contradiction in myself- i won't stop until i have succeeded, even if that means dissapointing my family and friends by not becomign that lawyer or neuro surgion...and maybe on the way, i'll learn to spell.