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| I want to know your plans
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So. What if I want to run away? What if there's nothing here to offer me? What if one day I get to leave, just trying to be free, and care-free, to find myself even lonlier and lost than before? I don't care. I would love to leave. What if I did? Who would really care? I know maybe a small handfull would, aside from my family. But really, I do. Fuck P.T.'s. Way to go, people who actually took the time to really think about what's happened to them and share that with a bunch of kids you don't know, but that's not for me. I can't compare to what some of these people have gone through and that's exactly what I have to do. And think about it. I don't want to have to think about it. Go down that path again. But that's all I can think about. Things that could possibly happen to me, what I could write to get a legitimate point across. I wish I would stop but I feel obliged to return to that "family". But none of them want me. none of them were sincere when they sang that song, no matter how nice that was.
I can't feel anything. Except for this. Lonliness. Unwantedness. No sence of where I'm going or who I'l living for. I want to leave. Escape. Take a looong road trip away. The thought of that is just so great. But alas, I can't. I'm not even sure if I ever will be. I find it ironically funny that an orginazion meant to bring people closer to one another and God could make me feel so misserably astray.
I tried not to feel this way. Maybe this is just how I am.
I don't want to be on the computer any more. (Well, I really don't want to be in this house. But yet, here I am. Writing, sitting... contemplating.. wondering. WISHING. Wishings for dreamers. Dreamings for losers. And I, dear people of thoughts.com, have come to realize just what a huge loser I am.
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Posted by x_sharpies_x on 2008-07-30 22:35:40 | Rating: | Views: 35
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first of all...I dont really catch your problem but you have to love yourself in-order for other to love..run away will not help anyone..face the fact and solve it you will feel much better...tell us more about your problem perhaps we can give you some comments...help yourself in-order to let others to help you
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Posted by GnR
on 2008-07-30 22:42:25
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i have the same feelings. i've been wanting to escape my life for so long. i am actually going to do it soon. im just saving money. sometimes, i hesitate, but i know i need to do it. or so i think i need to. anyway, it's all in your hands. you choose what you do.
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Posted by yanyanna
on 2008-07-30 23:23:39
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GnR: my problem is feeling unwanted and useless. My problem is the town I'm living in. I simply just want to leave and escape for awhile. This, was the point of all that ranting.
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Posted by x_sharpies_x
on 2008-07-31 13:17:38
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