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You know what makes me sad? Well instead of going on through a whole list I'll just tell you. I have no desire to be creative anymore. :( That was like, my trademark thing. I was always known as the girl who could draw really well. I would paint. I would draw. It was fun. And that was the only way I could express myself. I used to be SUPER quiet. I got more outgoing in 7th grade and it continued from there. of course, 7th grade was the worst year of my life so far, I think, and there is a certain girl who I have a theory might have driven the pleasure of drawing out of me, but I don't know. I just felt like sharing that cause I just watched a music video by the Shins and it had a girl painting in it. Which made me think of my lost talent. :( The music was really good at least. There's one plus. It sucks, cause drawing was the only thing I knew I was really good at. I was almost always the best drawer in my class. Everyone knew it. I would draw constantly and I wouldn't even have to think about it. I don't want to give up on my only natural talent. But I don't really want to anymore. I'm not very good at most other stuff. The only way I get good is if I work hard at it and practice a lot. But not for art. My drawings have been the same as they were in 7th and 8th grade because I know longer draw that much, therefore I'm not getting better at it. Before it was amazing for those creations to belong to me because I was a little kid. Now, it's not so amazing because I am older. But I'm getting bored with this now and I'm sure you are too. I think I'm done ranting about my lost talent.
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Posted by x_sharpies_x on 2008-01-15 21:01:06 | Rating: | Views: 84
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Pardon me, scorpio dragon, but I'd like to hug you gleefully and tenderly. I know all about your type and how you hold things/secrets close to you...setting up defenses in layers which people must gain access to slowly. The drama and the sarcasm...oh, and the flaring temperments. If you can slap yourself so you stop rambling nonsense:P while explaining your dilemma, maybe people like me can be of great help to you. I too am a struggling artist who feels he has lost/is losing his talent/creativity. I was once heralded the best artist in my grade school class. I was once an A student. I once had a bunch of cheapy books I made as a kid that my mother threw out and really miss them. Everything fell apart when I turned 14 and went to high school. I also later visited a local art school--in hopes of attending--and was so offended by the display they showed me and my "reserved" parents(and the guide pushed my portfolio off the table claiming my work was below their level) that I threw the whole lot out and decided to make a change. I am not sure what happenned after that. But, I find myself lacking inspiration. Only when I would find a girl I fell head over heals for would I start wanting to idolize her through art. And, ever since senior year, that is what I have been doing. It's quite sad. I realize you are the next generation, but maybe we could still be of benefit to each other.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-01-15 22:34:11
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