Thoughts.com Blogs - Every little kiss, a brand new game

So far today, I've done nothing. Sad, eh?

Listening to "And Love Said No" by H.I.M. I love that song. But then again, who doesn't?

So, Rachel, how's school going?

It's ok, I guess. I have a bad feeling about being able to pass Algebra 1. And I know I have to go to summer school...but maybe G-ma Jean will change her mind about that. But the rest of my classes are going well. A little....distracted in Geography....to the point I'm already missing assignments...but I'll be fine. I'll try to keep my mind off of everything that's depressing me.

You're depressed? Did you tell your doctor that?

No....no I did not. I think I'll live. Shane has friends who are girls. We're both single now (*sobs*) and that's ok. I just have to think about.....math class yesterday, and I'll be perfectly fine! (Yeeeeaaaahhh, son)

What happened in Math?

Everything. *wink*

Uh...ok, how's the love life?

What kind of an effing question is that? It freaking sucks. I see people everywhere with their boyfriends, husbands, eff-buddies, pimps, and all that, and I feel so alone. I really hope me and Shane get back together soon, because I really hate this thing we call being "single." I would like to be a "multiple." I love Shane, but I'm getting....irritated with everyone not knowing we broke up, and wanting to hear the whole story. I'm gettting sick of telling it. It freaking hurts, and I don't want to keep repeating it!!!

Uhhh...how's that anger coming along? Ain't hyperthyroidism suppose to make you like that?

*sigh* Yes, I've noticed a lot lately how irritable and quarelsome I feel, and I wish this feeling would go away. Putting myself at ease with everything that has been going on is a little hard when I'm so angry at everyone.

How do you put yourself at ease? Do you stay at ease?

Listen to music, of course. But I don't stay at ease for long. Nope.
But in the words of Ville Valo, a man so close to my heart, I love Shane. In 666 ways, and I hope he feels the same. Telling myself that he might feel the same way....that he probably does...makes me feel so much better.

It's nice to hear that you're for him.

Hahaha! Good one!

So, how's your day so far?

Kinda sucky. Well, a user on here (50gumbyss) gave me a link to a list of 40 things to improve your day. And one of them is to start off your day saying, "My purpose is to ___________ today."
I said, "My purpose is to call Shane and tell him that I miss him today."
That was a horrible idea.
I sat by the phone for nearly an hour...and all that was going through my mind was...
What if he hangs up?
What if he laughs?
What if he ignores what I say?
What if he says he's over me already???
The only thing that didn't go through my mind was...
What if he says he misses me too?

Well, that's depressing. Have you talked to any of your other friends today?

Pfft, yes. I called Paige a little while ago. We're going to the Mall tomorrow.
She was complaining because one of her friends dyed his hair brown.
And she looked up my ex.
He went emo. Sweet.

Got any plans later?

No, sir. Maybe drink a coke. Brush my hair (It is wet), and maybe eat something (Yeah, like I NEED anything else. I'm such a fatty). And perhaps play some more pokemon. That's about it.

What else on the net?

I think I'm gonna go on buzznet or something, and comment on more of Pete's pics.
But for now, I'm going to go.

Have a nice day.

Of couse.

xx