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JaneDoe

Life hasn't been too bad lately. It's been pretty quiet here. My dad is leaving for Arizona Friday morning. But other than that nothing much is going on. I'm not reall sure what to talk about right now but I feel the urge to write. I was pretty sad on halloween night. MY favorite band NeverShoutNever was in Columbus which is an hour away from where I live. His music inspires me alot. I can be having the absolute worst day and all I have to do is turn on one of his songs and I instantly cheer up. He writes about his experiences and I can relate to alot of them. He has one song coming out that really blew the wind out of me when he posted the lyrics on his myspace. I knew exactly how he felt. His parents just recently divorced and he looked up to their love, now that they divorced he doesn't know about love. I rmember when my parents divorced. It took a major hit on me and I had always looked up to their marriage and thought it was the perfect love. I have also now become in love with his new song JaneDoe. It's so cute. A is learning how to play it on his guitar for me because he knows how much I love the song. Because of Christofer Drew Ingle (the man behind NeverShoutNever) I am wanting to learn how to play the guitar and create my own songs. I already sing, even though I am not very good. I told my mom about me wanting to play but I could tell she doesn't think I will in the end. I told my dad and he was all for it. He said he might be able to get me a guitar for Christmas :) I can't wait to learn how to play. I know its going to take alot of time but I'm willing to put in the time to learn. It shouldn't be too hard because I have always played some sort of instrument and I have gotten good with music. Going back to how I can relate to Christofer Drew, lately his music and and even himself have been changing some. I think the changes are good. His music is becoming more mature. Alot of people are turning his back on him because he is smoking and he got some tattoos. It's his personal choices and if it makes him happy then so be it. I guess I am getting defensive over it because I have been through something similar. Over the past 2 years I have been changing. I am finding out who I am and trying to find out things about me. I am turning into what people would call emo. I don't mind being labeled that. Well before I used to be the innocent sweet little church girl who was ignorant to the world. I began to change and none of my friends from school liked it. Over the summer I kept saying how I wanted snake bites (2 lip piercings that look like fangs). Well my mom let me get my lip pierced but only one side done instead of both. Well i told my friends and they told me they liked it. They lied through their teethe. Then right before school started I died my hair black. It was my moms idea. She thought it would look good on me. I told a few of my friends. The nexxt day I got a lengthy message from my BEST FRIEND, telling me that she doesnt like me this way and that I need to go back to my old self and that I am basicly a fake. That hit me hard. I talked to her that night and explained that I am just trying to find myself. She told me that this wasn't thee way. She doesn't realize that people do things differently than her! I went to my mom crying because of how much this hurt. My mom thought it would be a good idea to change schools and have a fresh start which is what I did. I don't regret the decision to switch schools. I have made a few more friends who accept the way I am.
Oh wow I didn't realize how much I wrote down today. Well I guess I should go.

Posted by xXignoranceXx on 2009-11-04 21:00:36 | Rating: