I met her because she discovered recurring infidelity and attempted suicdie.  She needed therapy while in acute trauma, and had a spouse and family who continued to retraumatize her throughout the year and half I counseled her.  I fought them any way I could.  I went to her house, I took on her family, I called her daily, spent hours on the phone, got her medicated, started our group, referred her for services,e tc.  It took me a year to convince her that it was them, her particular family members and her verbally/emotionally abusive husband, were crazy, not her, eventhough she had been told her entire life by one person or another that she was.  Once she accepted that she struggled with the notion that people we love hurt us, not because we are crazy, but because they can.  She struggled with her faith, her purpose in life, her value.  All those were stolen from her in childhood and once again in marriage.  Therapy and group at least allowed her to be validated, to be loved and accepted for who she was, to actually find some measure of peace before her death.  We touched her soul as she did ours, we are just sorry we could not save her from them, from her life, her bad luck, seemingly , from her destiny. 

We had difficutly resuming group sessions without her and were stumped on how and why this had to happen.  J won't sit in her old spot anymore, and all of us suffer everytime we drive by her home.  We went through the should have, would have, what might have happened with no particular outcome.  We reached out to other friends of hers to no avail, no response.  We suffered through a joke of a funeral that she would have detested and watched her , in essence, "murderers" act like they cared about anything but themselves.  The telltale sign was that upon meeting her spouse he had no feeling, no soul in his eyes...years later we meet the family and other significant family members have the same "OJ" eyes, nothing in them, no feelings, no soul, sociopathic.  She had so much feeling and soul in her eyes and shared it with the world in ways we cannot describe.  Let's say she was  an activist for those who could not act on their own behalf, she had deep compassion for others and was always trying to help someone.  She nicknamed our group members and wanted to have the parties.  She wanted to celebrate life, she wanted them to leave her alone to finally be at peace, happy.  She did not believe she would ever have peace, and why would she.?  She was right...   I warned her in the beginning that the better/healthier she became the worse they would get, their agression towards her, however sophisticated and covert, would escalate to alarming proportions, which it did and was her demise.  They should rot.   Hopefully our other members will contribute this week.  Each is struggling with their own family, personal, etc issues.  We have moved on somewhat from our recent tragedy, onto each of their issues as we should.  In her honor we wrie this blog.