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I still think of you, every once and a while. It's not a happy thought, or a thought that brings misery. It's just your name, printed in bold letters across my mind. I wonder where you are, how you've been doing. I think of how comfortable we were, maybe we'd settled, but it was cozy, warm.
I think about how we would laugh, how I loved to sit outside, but you hated the cold. I would use cigarettes as an excuse to get us out there. I would pray that our cigarettes would last us eternity. Sometimes we would let our conversation take us wherever it felt like leading us. Sometimes we would let the silence take over us, cigarettes dangling from our mouths, hands in our pockets, staring at the street lamp infront of us, wondering how long it had been broken for. When things between us weren't so great, you were always the one that wanted to go outside, talk, let the cold air warm our hearts. Heighten our senses, freeze our feet. I was never keen on this, you would always look so sad, you would sigh until I asked you what was wrong (even though I already knew, and didn't want to hear it again). You would take a drag of your cigarette (for dramatics) and tell me, that I've heard it enough, and I probably didn't want to hear it again. "You're right" I would respond, "it's cold, I'm going inside." And the conversation would end.
When I was upset, you would always ask what was wrong, and genuinely want to listen to an answer. I would never give you a response, I would find a poetry book and stare at the words. Only one word would matter though, your name printed in bold across my mind. "Well, if you're not going to talk to me, I'm leaving, I'll talk to you later." You would say, I wouldn't respond and I would let you leave.
The last time this happened, I said goodbye, you know. Maybe you didn't hear it, because by the time I spat it out, you were already in your car driving away. But I did say goodbye, just know. |
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Posted by withsealedlips on 2008-01-07 23:56:04 | Rating: | Views: 40
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