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| CANCER SUCKS: Lessons learned from the sidelines.. |
Cancer Sucks:
Cancer Sucks! Yes it does, not just for those who find themselves engulfed by it, but by those around them and close to their loved ones. Yes, cancer sucks. Statistics say 1 in 3 people will develop cancer in their lifetime. That really closes in your safety circle. 1 in 3…
When a very good friend was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I began to tally my circle. 1 in 3 is optimistic. If I imagine 1 in every three people I am close too will develop cancer, my circle is closing in fast. Will I be 1 in 3 to someone else?
Reminiscing:
Childhood -
I can’t go back to grade school, I was too egocentric. We moved a lot. Friends came and went. We never shared a family history. But some names come back to haunt you. With the internet the gaps can close and bring your past back to you. Cancer, 1 in 3, Erik dies of leukemia when he was 12. I didn’t know him anymore but I found out years later. I hadn’t seen him since 1st grade. Rosie’s mom died of breast cancer. But I never knew her; I met Rosie in 5th grade. Her Mom had died when she was 6. I knew her story. She was in my class and at the age of 11 she was the only person I ever met who didn’t have a Mom. Breast cancer: what on earth is that? Paula, my babysitter, a survivor. Cervical cancer discovered after the birth of her only child. My mother told me about her when I was 13 or 14. I remembered I liked her and felt bad she’d been sick. 1 in 3. How many people did I know until I was 12? How many were stricken with cancer I don’t know about? 1 in 3…
High School - I am more aware now. A teenager aware of my mortality in a small High School where we not only know our class mates well but their siblings and parents as well. Our friends are our family. Our family, well, they were a mere annoyance. Marie dies of brain cancer her sophomore year. Marjanne had skin cancer. We lost touch after graduation. No one knows what happened to her. She was different, not like us, we let her drift away and disappear. I went to a catholic high school with nuns for teachers. Two of them left the school, 1 had breast cancer, the other ovarian. Both were my teacher at one time or another. We just knew they weren’t there anymore. We become privy to this information via the “grapevine” years later. How many more where there? Shouldn’t we NEED to know? 1 in 3, isn’t that a necessary link to our Medical History?
Adulthood-
Throughout college and after I met people who told me that their father had cancer, their sister, their brother, their Mother…their child (No, a child is not fair. Not someone’s child!). This information weaved its way in and out of my life for years. People come and go. Sometimes we remember, sometimes we don’t A co-worker had melanoma. She survived. We weren’t friends. I always commented that her obsessive tanning would get her one day…I’m sorry Becks, but despite my pettiness you survived. I am glad.
Thanksgiving 1994. Dad wasn’t feeling well. An abdominal cyst or something. That Monday he had surgery. Colon Cancer. 6-8 weeks. He made it 6 weeks. I wasn’t there but I did get to say goodbye. It sucked, for the first time I cried for someone with cancer. For the first time I realized CANCER SUCKS. It had hit home. A few years later I worked at a law firm. A job I loved with co workers I really cared about. AJ discovered he had tongue cancer. We were all scared for him and it was hard to focus as we waited to hear how his surgery went. We all cried together and he knew we cared and loved him. He is a survivor. Scott’s Dad passed from cancer in 2003. Not sure what kind. Scott is not close to his family and they never said much about it. They were all in denial till the end when it bit them all in the ass. I am sorry it happened to him. But I remember thinking; at last he has some peace. Then my cousin Martha had breast cancer. She is a survivor. I never spoke to her about it. We are not close. I was told after the fact. That’s too bad I remember thinking, glad she made it thru. I went on with my day. In one ear, out the other. I remember thinking “Cancer Sucks”. Mom died in 2006. Not from cancer but from cancer related illness. She had advanced emphazyma and stage 4 lung cancer. She went into the hospital after Thanksgiving in 2006 for a non-related problem. She died 13 years to the day after my father. Cancer might not have been the direct cause of death but it was the real cause. But I realized, more and more people who have touched my life are coming up against this horrible monster. 1 in 3 people…..
We moved to Savannah, GA a few short years ago. I don’t know a whole lot of people. I can count my circle of friends on 2 hands. The first friend I made here died 3 months later from colon cancer. 2 months after diagnosis. Shortly after I started working at my current job, a co-worker’s daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Stacy is in her early 30’s with 2 small children. She won’t be a survivor, although she is putting up a valiant fight. If the doctors had been on the ball it would have been detected long ago. Stacy's sister's husband, Paul had colon cancer. They think he's beaten it. All one can do is pray... One of my best friends was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, stage 3. Carol is in her second week of chemo as I write this. It could have been detected with a simple blood test, but it isn’t readily available or covered by insurance. Our neighbor’s daughter Tyeesha is 9. She has leukemia. 1 in 3 is terrible odds.
What can anyone do? Cancer is a multi-headed monster. But one must face their monsters not back away from them. Run your marathons, walk your walks. Buy yellow bracelets, pink ribbons and teal T-shirts. Save the Ta-Tas, Stand up for Cancer...It does some good. Is shows you care. But I have discovered a new awareness:
• Life is too precious to have such terrible odds. 1 in 3 is too many. 1 in infinity is too many...
• It’s not really the cancer that kills you, it’s the politics behind the research and drug development, it’s the insurance mongols looking at stats not people. They are the real cancer. The disease is the result of the bottom line. If we can put man on the moon.....
• Cancer whispers ever so softly at first. You need to listen to your body. Don't wait for the cancer to start screaming at you. Get tested, if you suspect something is wrong, make your doctor listen. If he/she doesn’t, find another doctor. Trust your gut! Cancer whispers, listen!
• There are no easy answers.
• When you lose someone to cancer, awareness lasts a lifetime
• Cancer sucks
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Posted by wings12 on 2008-12-12 08:48:38 | Rating: | Views: 86
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