"Uhm, are you sure? I can be forgiven from ALL of my sins? I can't even begin to remember each one of them, but... are you really sure"? These were my lines as I innocently asked the person who did personal discipleship with me, that time, talking about God's forgivevess.
I can't imagine life without God's forgiveness and His power to transform and restore me to the person HE really designed me to be. Maybe, without God's restoration for me, I am dead right now. Possibly, I am:
1. Directionless. I am a person who is used to despise everything. I complain a lot but move/act less. I don't know what I want and I am never satisfied with what I have.
2. Barking at the Wrong Tree. I am still complaining about the government, about the people leading the government, etc. I never knew that God is the only One who can make lasting transformation to this country.
3. Still in School. Maybe in my max residency.
4. At my worst: My relationship with my family (parents), my classmates, my friends,etc.
5. Bitter. Maybe, with all the negative things done to me, I am still bitter and can't move on. My life probably will be filled with stress.
6. An Expert Man Pleaser. Everything I do probably is to please people. I am never secured to who I am and what I can do, but will always be concerned about how people will see and think about me.
7. Confused. Probably, there is no peace. My heart and life will probably be in chaos.
Though this is a list of the "probabilities" if I haven't encountered God in my life, I believe their opposite serve as the "MIRACLES" I can hold on too, in times of doubt, familiarity and unbelief. They can serve as a reminder of God's faithfulness over the years, of how He is able to transform and restore a person like myself.
With so much gratefulness to God's goodness and grace, I am who I should be. Thank God for showing me the truth which set me free- in all aspects of my life. I am not perfect, but God is so perfect and He is worth all my trust, hope and faith. Things around me are definitely not perfect too. I got problems every now and then, but even though, I am happy that God is with me, therefore, who can be against me.
I thank God for His forgiveness because it teaches me to forgive and love people even more. Because of His forgiveness, I am able to live my life with so much security and at the same time, I am able to let go of the negative things done towards me.
Indeed, there is nothing to boast. There is nothing to personally be proud of. If there is something to be proud of, is the fact that my God is able to graciously give more than what I am able to accomplish. It is so tiring to trust myself and at the end of the day, it is still futile, not enough.
Lord, more of you and less of me.
1 Corintians 1: 26- 31 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
