"Death and damnation, I can disassociate from everything else except my own self;
I can't even forget myself when I am asleep."
-Soren Kierkegaard, "The Diary of Soren Kierkegaard
So perhaps that's why I have not slept for days on end. The one thing I crave for most right now is a good night's sleep. Yet, for some odd reason I lie in bed for hours with nothing to show for it except dark circles and huge bags under my eyes...big enough to fit everything in my purse, I believe.
It's amazing how quickly sleep deprivation kicks in. My ability to make sense of things present and things past has gone out the window. Not to mention, my ability to control my emotions...yup that's gone too. Surprisingly enough, my mom has now gone from worrying about my sleep, or the lack there of, to believing that I have magically become pregnant...Yes, folks it's another miraculous conception for a woman who is unable to have children!!!! Amazing huh?!
As I lie awake in bed all night, I had to ponder the question..."Why try?" I mean, seriously, my mind has tricked my body into thinking that sleep is unnecessary, so why fight my body's desire to be up all night? Besides, think of all I can accomplish in those hours of the wee morning when no one else is up to bother me and get in my way.
It is said that "sleep is so important to our overall health that total sleep
deprivation has been proven to be fatal: lab rats denied the chance to
rest die within two to three weeks." I guess I should be lucky then...in the past four days I've gotten about 5 hours of sleep. Looks like I'm gonna live a wee bit longer than those poor little lab rats.
So, I'm giving up on trying. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" Like I said, I've decided that sleep is for pansies! ***Sadly, I secretly wish that I was a pansy***
Must be nice!!!
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