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| Feeling Lonely... Any advice?
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The last couple days I've just felt so alone, and almost sad. I've been so unmotivated, my laundry pile is probably the biggest it has ever been, and I could honestly care less. I have had so much to do this week and so many places to be.. and this weekend it even worse and I'm planning a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, and my husband's birthday all in the next few weeks. I guess I'm just overwhelmed.
My husband, TJ, is a very busy guy. He works 45 hours a week, plays softball two nights a week, bowls on Thursdays, and soccer reffing starts on Sunday. I don't think I'm a needy person, but I guess I'm in need of some attention.
I know he has a lot on his plate and he's just busy, so I feel bad for even mentioning it.. I don't want to sound selfish.. but I almost feel invisible... Especially being a stay at home Mom, I rarely get out and I'm so busy trying to keep everything up and keeping up with a 19 month old is nearly impossible in itself..
I think we just need some alone time.. but that rarely ever happens..looking at the calendar it's going to be almost a month before we'll have a night off and alone.. Any ideas or suggestions? Or maybe I'm just overreacting?
So if you have any ideas or if you've been in a similar situation, share your thoughts/ideas/stories...
Much Love,
Miranda
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Posted by wifenmommynmimi on 2008-07-24 15:03:58 | Rating: | Views: 110
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I understand when things get busy but you must stay focused and motivated. Plan a day off in the future for you and yours and work for that goal. In the interem get in quickies,and write notes to your husband about all the stress and crazyness and how you are feeling. Keep him in the loop and that will help you with your attention. Get the laundy going! Go GO! Good luck.
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Posted by theotherjim
on 2008-07-24 15:29:24
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I soooooo understand!!!
After being married for 12 years, I gotta tell ya, you need to talk to him about this NOW! Don't leave this stuff unsaid because you'll only resent him later. He's still living a bit of the "bachelor-single-guy" lifestyle. My hubby did it too for the first couple of years and I said nothing, thinking I was just being selfish and I should let him do what he wanted. I didn't like the result -- I felt ignored and used, like I was just some convenient bedmate, not his lifemate. I finally said something to him, but I sure wish I would have said it sooner. Your man has so much going on in his life that you aren't a part of. Maybe suggest to him it's time to strap on the baby backpack carrier and you ALL go bowling! Remind him he agreed to share his life with you. I'm reminded of and interview I saw on Oprah with Seal and Heidi Klum. He said he always puts his wife above every other priority, even his work and kids! Because if something is wrong with his marital relationship, it affects every other aspect of his life in a negative way. It's so very true! We're like cars...don't put enough fuel in, you'll never get where you want to go. How can you give 100% to your family if you don't take 100% for yourself too? Fuel up, sister! He loves you, so don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.
~L
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Posted by LARed
on 2008-07-24 15:46:02
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You feel how you feel kiddo. Tell your husband how you feel, you'll feel better if you do. Just because he works out of the home doesn't mean that hes busier than you and TOO busy for you.
Having learned the hard way, I kept my mouth shut instead of telling him what I needed. Remember kiddo that YOU matter:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-24 15:47:38
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Its normal to feel that way. Just look at everything in steps. Don't get yourself overwhelmed. And maybe you just ask him when he gets home or right before you go to bed to spend 15 or 30min just with you, no tv or phone around, to just talk.
Pita is right. Just tell him what you need, men are not mind readers and he probably has no idea you feel like this.
Don't worry! Just focus on taking care of you and the baby! Good luck.
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-07-24 16:08:35
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HAHA...THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, THAT NIGHT WERE HE'S ABOUT TO GO BOWLING WITH ALL HIS DUDES! WHEN HE COMES HOME FOR WORK, SET A TRAIL TO YOUR BEDROOM AND HAVE THE ROOM COMPLETELY DARK, AND SOUND EFFECTS GOING ON. AND WHILE HES CALLING YOUR COME OUT FROM NO WHERE, AND JUMP HIM!!!!!!!! TIE HIM ON THE BED, AND SAY UR NOT LEAVING(WHISPERING..LOL ;]
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Posted by clrksfanII
on 2008-07-24 19:29:10
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Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving. Love is the continual act of unconditionally putting the needs of others before your own.
Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.
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Posted by papi3
on 2008-07-25 00:55:56
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A lot of good advice there for you to think over. I believe that lots of mothers with young children feel lonely at times. That's not too bad if you have someone coming in at night to share it with. You sound like you are doing too much on your own. I'm with Pita - you are important and it's up to you to create time for you. Tell that husband, without whining or crying, that you need more of his time and get a bit of fun back into your life. Time goes so quickly and that baby will grow up, so make the most of what you have. My best wishes to you.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-25 05:38:48
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