Sadness, or maybe just lonliness. 

I worked this morning then came home to finish my cooking.  I actually cooked a big meal for only me.  My family left me to go to my grandparents, ten hours away.  I have no close family and no friends without family nearby, so I had Thanksgiving alone.  Well, me and the cat.

Wow, this is only the second time in four years that they left me.  I am going through that depressed thing.  I think it really sucks that I am all alone.  This actually goes with the post I wrote earlier.  I feel lonley because I have no one person to count on.  There is no friend that I always go shopping with or call.  No boy that constantly gives me attention.  No parent that constantly dotes on me.  No children needing my every inch of being.  Nothing.  A vast space of nothingness. 

For some reason my life is bored.  Nothing that isn't my fault.  Somehow I have let my life become boring.  There is no hobby that makes me happy.  No person, no animal, no car, no new place.  Nothingness again.  I am at that point to where I want to just retreat into myself.  Just spend time sitting in the dark.  I just think that I don't know who I am.  I have no one here to tell me that everything is alright.  No one to tell me to just breathe because everything will work out in its own time.  Nothingness.