Andrew, Andrew, Andrew how I adore you. "I will miss your lips and everything attached to them"
Miss you.  Miserably.  And I apologize.  You don't need to hear me cry when you call.  I know that you want me to be happy at all times.  Thats not life.  You won't be thankful for the ups if you don't have the downs.  I should have pulled myself together better.  If not for me, then for you. 
Happy Birthday to me.  Yay!!!  Now I'm a year older.  One reason for being upset today was my birthday.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE birthdays.  Especially my own.  But there was no one to celebrate with me.  No one to spoil me.  No one to grant my every with that was within their means.  No one.  Then to hear from you.  The one person I would love to spend the entire day with.  Sucked.  My roommate wasn't even around.  I caught myself stopping myself from crying at work.  Just because I am in a new place where no one knows me and my birthday.  Luckily "Maxx" came to my rescue.
"Maxx" is a decent aquaintance.  When I lived here before, I invited him to hang out with my friends and I but it never worked out.  So Maxx and I really haven't been that close of friends.  But I told him (on my way to break) that I was lonely today because it was my birthday and there was no one around.  As I made my way to the break room, I heard the loud speaker come on.  It was Maxx.  He made an announcement that it was my birthday and for everyone to tell me happy birthday.  Which worked.  When I went back to work I HAD to hug him.  I appreciated that more than alot of things.  It really made a difference in my day.  I no longer had the urge to cry.  I even met a little boy customer who shared my birthday.
But I have let my life get boring again.  I am bored.  I actually hung out at the store and talked to Maxx for a while because I didn't want to come home to an empty home, just to sit here on my birthday and watch movies and play online.  No offence guys.  I just crave humans.
I thought that Andrew would take away my need for attention.  Nope.  Didn't work baby.  You just switched my local attention provider.  (By the way, the previous one wished me a happy valentines day and told me he was working on having emotions and that I need to come see him for no reason)  I still crave the attention.  I have no one to even hold fingers with because holding hands is off limits.  No one to stand really close to and breathe in an "Essence of Andrew".  No best friend that thinks I am just the coolest thing ever.  No attention.
On a more pathetic note.  I am such a slacker.  OMG!  WTF!  Anyway.  I looked up all my old friends and I feel so inadequate around them now.  And I'm not even around them.  One friend is a dental hygienist with a 5 year old.  Another friend is basically a phsychiatrist for mental health patients.  Two more have done modelling for years.  Most of them have children.  Many are married.  So many lives have changed.  And what do I have to show for the almost eight years since I saw most of them?  Nothing.  I have nothing.  No career.  No education.  No husband.  No kids.  Nothing.  I am sitting in limbo.  Everyone tells you as a child to have goals, but no one tells you not to have too many goals.  I want to do everything.  I want to accomplish something.  I want to be someone.  I want to make my mark on the world.  I want people to remember me.  Maybe not enough people to fill a small foreign country, but a few people.  I really need to get off my posterior and do something with my life.