sounds like you are living my very life!!! Im in the same situation, only I have known my "friend" for a significant number of years. The affection and attention is not there from my husband but its everything with the #2. He keeps after me to leave and be with him, but its just not that easy, at least not for me. I have kids to think about, and as my husband has wanted, no job as I stay home with the boys, so I have no money, nowhere to go and no way to support my babies. The only difference is the problems in my marriage were there at least a year before the other relationship came to be. How do you walk away from the comfort you are used to and into the unknown?? Im at a loss, and at a very good chance of losing the one who now holds the key to my heart.

In the end you have to choose, because these thing never end well and though things aren't going so good at home, you're still betraying your husband. In these situations one person will always be hurt. Although the other guy makes you feel good now, remember that if you break up your marriage things with this new guy may not work at as well as u thought it would. Try to repair what you have with your husband first. Counseling is never a bad move or anything to be ashamed of. It has saved so many marriages before so why not give it a go. Just remember that once your marriage is finished there is very little hope it will ever go back to the way it was once you realize you made a mistake by letting it go. Hope it all works out for you =)

Thank so much for your comments. Another problem is my husband doesn't think there are any problems. I've tried talking to him about where I am unhappy in our relationship and he says nothing has changed for him. If anything has changed it's in my head because he's the same and still feels the same way for me.

If he really does feel for you then he should meet you half way by talking through how your feeling. If he loves you then your problems are his too. You should be a team and if he cares, then he should want to help get the relationship back on track.