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| What you want out of life?
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A few days ago I was talking to someone about the whole wife/me situation. He expressed the opinion that the two of us view life/happiness in a different way. Where I want the challenge, she does not.
I thought a minute or two and then asked if what she wanted to do was really a life? Or was she happy to just exist?
And was what she wanted really happiness, or just being content?
(....as I write this I have a weird feeling I have written this before but...)
I mean lets look at it this way:
Tonight's Mega Millions lottery Jackpot is 25 million I think. So after taxes and I take the cash pay out I get 7 or 8 million dollars. That is enough to live the rest of my life in an OK fashion if I do not go crazy and buy alot of stuff and invest.
I would quit my job, but I would then spend my time taking trips(Austr, sounds nice LOL) and seeing all that I wanted to see. I would learn to cook, learn photography, and be happy. And maybe even eventually find some job that I liked and do that to stay busy.
I get a bad feeling that my wife would sit and watch TV and do little else. She admits to no intellectaul curiosity.
I am not saying she is lazy, not by any means. And she is not stupid, in fact one of my biggest fustrations is that she is a smart woman that has decided she is nowhere near as smart as she is.
I am not saying that everyday in life needs to be some Zobra the Greek/Hemingway/Hunter Thompson/On the Road adventure, that is not reality.
But as you all read I recently went into the city and walked around Central Park, that got me thinking....
I have never ridden the Staten Island Ferry, or been to The Metropolitan Museum of Art, or the Natural Hx Museum, or the Bronx Zoo, or a whole bunch of places in NY. I even heard about this museum in NYC called COSM, the Chapel of Sacred Mirriors. It looked much like much if not all of the art was in a sense abstract, and might not be completely my taste. But I will go and see it as what is the harm? I go, experience something and either like it or not. And my mother once told me you never carry your education on your back, so learn what you can wherever you can.
"I hate carrots mommy"
"Have you ever had carrots?"
"No"
"Then how do you know you do not like them"
(Sam I Am...LOL)
I suggested all these places to my wife and got a ho hum.
She is not sure if she would like any of that.
She seems to want to try things as long as they fit in her comfort zone.
But life is about not staying in that zone.
KP the other day said she thinks my wife would love to go to bed tonite and wake up old, where I would want to wake up young again. Not so much for the second chance, but for the time.
No one in an old movie yells " I WANT TO EXIST!!!" they yell I WANT TO LIVE!!
Oh and if I won the lottery I get one other experience....but I will let you all figure that out on your own
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Posted by whiteknight on 2008-03-25 14:46:12 | Rating: | Views: 107
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Hey good post WK - thought provoking as usual.
If you won the lottery I'm sure your wife wouldn't just want to watch TV! I'm sure she'd want a HUGE Plasma to watch it on with maybe reclining theatre chairs ... come on!! :)
As for you - why don't you buy yourself a Digital SLR Camera and teach yourself and while you are learning go visit those places you mentioned and take photos, hundreds of them ... then post the best ones on here so I can experience those places you mentioned?
I love living life, and the best part about living life is you never know whats coming next!
Kinda like Forrest Gump - life is like a box of chocolates............
:)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-03-25 15:45:41
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I am beginning to believe more and more that the problem is very simple and maybe you're frustrated because you're over analysing something thats actually quite straight forward (albeit sad)...you and your wife just want different things.
The common ground that you started married life with is just...dwindling. While you're wondering why she doesnt want more...she's wondering why what you have isn't enough for you. Doesn't mean either of you are wrong, just your viewpoint has changed.
I always liked the quote...'love is not gazing into each others eyes, it is looking forward in the same direction'...I think you and your wife are looking ahead in different directions.
I know this sounds selfish, but there are times in our lives we just have to do things for ourselves. Seeing places and people, growing and learning...thats what I chose to do when I went back to college. And I wanted to take my husband along for the ride, but in the end I had to resolve myself to the fact that I couldnt force him, and I had to move forward anyway, for ME.
I hope you find some peace from all this soon, for the sakes of everyone involved and wish you the best as ever.
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Posted by chebtastic1
on 2008-03-25 19:14:10
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I have to agree with cheb, even though I feel bad saying it. I know people who are perfectly happy and content just relaxing around the house and watching TV. They have no desire to see the world or try anything new. Maybe at one time you were compatible with your wife, but things change over time. I'm certainly not the same girl I was even 5 years ago. Hopefully you can come to some kind of resolution. I wish you all the best. Peace.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-03-25 23:36:49
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Cheb, you are playing my song
The way you said that you wanted to take the husband along is almost the exact way I told my wife this last week.
Colorado:I love vegging at the TV.
I just want more too.
Lucci: You say when and I am there
Easy:Doing alot of that already w/ the pics. As for posting here...lets just say I fear the family emeber that pust 2 and 2 together...but I will try. And if you ever meet KP in person, she has a 3 disc DVD set of a trip I took cross country you would love.
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-03-26 07:10:16
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Oh sorry, Blue Moon: I agree that life is not ever going to be all happiness, but you need a BIG tent of happiness where sometimes a lil unhappiness lands
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-03-26 07:11:32
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A FRIEND OF MINE ONCE CAME TO HIS BREAKFAST TABLE COMPLAINING OVER JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING AND HIS MOTHER SLAPPED HIM ON HIS ARM AND TOLD HIM TO GO BACK TO HIS ROOM AND NOT TO COME OUT UNTIL HE SAW THE ROSE IN THE VASE AND NOT THE DUST ON THE TABLE. SOUNDS LIKE UR WIFE NEEDS TO SEE THE ROSE ON THE TABLE.
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Posted by tinkerbell1988
on 2008-03-26 19:20:05
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