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Ok, at the suggestion of someone I am going to talk about my experience in marriage therapy. Well first of all I had to drag my wife kicking and screaming to the idea. She resisted this like nothing before. I really think that it is because there is something inside her that wants to hide and if you bring her to therapy it might come out. I never think she was touched or molested or anything. I think she has deep issues of being left by men. Anyway she finally went after 6 months of trying. But it had to be a woman, which was OK w/ me as I think if she hears some of this from a woman she might take it in deeper. Well what it has become is that 1) I knew this all when you married me. TRUE but everyone needs to grow and I grew. I am not the man she married. I am more confident, I am more suceessful, I am more level headed, I think before I act more. 2) I can not change as fast as you want me to. WELL , I am not getting any younger and I sort of want to be able to enjoy certain things before I die. And also rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking ship is not change. She keeps painting the house and putting up flower boxes and a new lawn, but the house is falling apart inside...I want her to not just do the surface stuff, I want deep meaningful change. 3) I get the feeling that the therapist has had a lil men problems or issue or something. It does not creep in alot but it shows up at times in little ways. Although 95% of the time she is an honest broker and that is all you can ask. I am seeing a person not a robot. 4) And most disturbing is that my wife has not really committed to this yet in any way that I think can make it work. Listen, I have tried a few people for my own therapy and while my current doctor is ok, he is not probing enough. But I do know there is a way to do this. I know when I got something out of a session, and it is not always some deep moment like in the movies when you cry. Problem is my wife has no idea how to gauge progress in the session, never says she learned anything, gets offended when the spotlight of critism is on her, and basically would stop tommorrow if I let her. On the other hand, I hear things coming out of her mouth in there that SCREAM for her to see her own person and work them out and I know she never would or I would point them out. When you go into a 10 minute monologe on how you were the good girl at home, you were the daughter that nevr made dad or mom mad, how even as a woman you still want to be that but you are trying to work that out in yur head now,,AT 45!!!!!...I think that screams that you need help to get that all out. She sees it as just who she is. Problem is I wonder if she likes the broken her and my efforts to fix her are all for naught.