I had promised myself less wife bashing on here, although I still need a name for her. i liked "clueless", liked "female Homer Simpson" and KP's idea she told me on the phone was priceless...I may use that one but I will wait a bit given events.
Anyway, then she says things that just tick me off as they show her less than total ability to see what is really going on. She is working alot lately as she now has two jobs to try to make up what she lost when she was laid off from her job a while back. To her credit, the place let her go because she was not producing enough, but then when she left it took 4 people to do the one client she was dealing with. She was that good at waht she did and it was just that the production was not there to get from what they gave her. A lil birdie told me that they got as close as picking up the phone to call her to come back, but then stopped as they knew that if they did she would want asurances they would not pull this stunt a 3rd time(they downsized about a year before that, she was the lowest man on the top of the pole so they let her go and brought her back 2 months later at her old job before her promotion and at only slightly less money)
See, I can see the good in her. I know she is talented and smart and a great woman, thing is she misses it !
Tiger Woods is a one in a generation golfer, but unless he saw it in himself he might just be a golf pro on some country club or maybe even selling cars in a lot rather than on TV.
So this working alot has left us little to no time to talk. I get up while she is still in bed. We have a 2 minute, if that, talk when I walk in the room to kiss her and say goodbye. I would talk more but she needs to sleep.
See, this was actually going to be a whole blog post but I will put it here instead:
The woman slept her marriage away I have decided
We had no sex on our wedding night, why? She was tired
The first weekend we ever got away as a couple she needed a nap on a lovely fall day on Cape Cod.
She needed to go to bed at 9 on our honeymoon, "I mean aren't vacations about resting?"
And now instead of talking to me, she sleeps.
We could talk at night when she gets home but I am told that that makes it impossible to sleep after the talk so do not do that !
So our only time is a at lunch when she calls me from work on her cell. BUT WAIT! See her phone has a bad battery that only stays charged for about 5 minutes, if that, and then needs to rest (irony does not escape me here) and then an hour later it is fine w/o ever being recharged.
She could get a new phone but she needs to pay the company the past due bill she owes and also they are not giving her a phone, she is getting one for less as her contract is not fully up.
I frankly think she hides from talks with this phone. Can't talk long as the phone is beeping.
I think she hides from responsibility with this phone. Can't call school, or this or that place because the phone will die quick so you need to call Dwight.
So I am the one man band with school and therapy appointments and it all.
So yesterday I finally had it.
Just as we start talking about something about us at lunch...OPPS the phone is beeping, need to stop! and before you ask I do actually know that the phone is dieing, she is not making it up. She is bad, but not that bad.
So I point out my feeling she is liking this phone excuse too much. She says she has no idea what I am talking about and then THE PHONE DIES...
To her credit she did call back from in the office, where obviously she can not talk openly.
It is what she said during the message she left there that made me want to just give up!!!!
Yes finally the point of all this.....
She tell me that she knows she will be left all alone in the world because the only thing she has always had was her son and now he will live with me if we split. OK wait, the only reason that will happen is because the kid has built a life in the town we live in. While school will end soon, so that teather will be cut, he has joined alot of things in the area that will lead maybe to his career path.
Unless I hit the lottery I will not be able to afford where we live now on my own while paying out alimony, so I will move too. But, I have said that I will make every effort to have this kid live where he can not be too displaced and have to restart it all. I am not sure I can, but I will try.
So frankly I am not sure he is staying w/ me.
But more to the point, he is not choosing me over her. In fact if anyting he will most likely choose her when he knows all the facts. And also he is 18. Shocking news but 18 year olds will soon start to not choose either parent !
But for her to say that she thinks that her son is leaving her and coming to me is pointing out to me that sh really needs more help than anyone can provide. Or as she puts it "telling a stranger my life again"
She starts indiv. therapy tonite
No me to tear her apart as she thinks I do when we are in marriage therapy
All her
I am curious how this will work.
Many years ago Ted Kennedy ran for President and the thing that many people point to as to why he lost is an interview he gave where they asked him why he wanted to be President. A simple question, any of the current three candidates still in the race would hit out of any park in the world. It was a softball.
He had no answer!
I wonder when she walks in and he asks why are you here and she really has no answer beyond I think she should go, how can she be helped.
KP has often noted that when we eat dinner, my wife rarely makes vegtables. She knows they are good for you
I have even suggested them and offered to make them with limited sucess in making it a habit.
I think that is a great way to end this rambling post....My wife knows what is good for her but rarely does she make sure she keeps doing it. She knows us talking would help us relate, she knows vegtables would help us live longer, she knows more romance and growing might help me see I should stay.....she does none of it
Maybe she needs to sleep on it
Posted by whiteknight on 2008-04-10 07:55:14 | Rating: n/a | Views: 160
Wow! She is CLUELESS!! This woman has shut you out totally and obviously you are not her priority. Nothing could be more important than talking to you, especially if you want or need to talk. The cell phone is a lame excuse and not talking before sleep is ridiculous, maybe talking before sleep and having her think about these issues all night would do her some good.
Your son at 18 will soon be on his own and not with either of you. This just sounded like a guilt trip to me. She has learned that works with you. I wouldn't sell your son short about who he will choose. Remember he has been a witness to this marriage for 18 years and believe you me, he sees the lack of effort she is putting into it.
I hope the therapist helps, but usually we need to want to change and see that we have a problem before that change can be made. Geez!
It's called denial. She is in denial about your marriage problems and as long as you both don't have that conversation, it isn't happening. I feel for her and hope she continues with therapy. I also feel for you and your son.
White Knight - just who do you think you are. I have, from time to time read your comments and I have been so incensed that I have failed to say anything for fear that half of Thought's regulars would attack me. You know what? I don't care! I will happily leave the site if I am slated for what I think of you.
You have the audacity to condemn your wife for the person she is while you conduct an 'affair' with a married woman with children who has just escaped the clutches of death (thank God) and make it all seem that it is right and just because YOU are suffering so much. What has your wife done? She continues to work two jobs so she can contribute to a household where you obviously cannot make ends meet alone (even with your superior intellect which falls down on so many occasions). She loves you and she loves your son. What an awful sin. She does not shout and she does not fight back. My goodness, that should be a hanging offence. She will not walk away and leave you with your son because she has feelings for you and she still wants what's best for your son, even though he is now 18.
I would so love to meet that woman, to put my arms around her and assure her that there is a life out there without you. She could use her talents to her own advantage and maybe make it better for your son. She is a quiet, inoffensive woman who you ridicule, denounce and demean through your pathetic rants which are all about YOU. Poor old White Knight - who should be with the lady he loves (who he has never met in person) and is held back because of her husband and children and that awful, pathetic woman who happens to be your wife.
I don't think I have ever felt so disgusted by anyone on Thoughts as I have of you. How dare you speak about your wife to the world when she has no voice for herself. Maybe the endless time you spend blogging would be better used gaining qualifications which might enable you to (a) spell better and express yourself with better English and (b) allow you to race off on your White Charger to destroy another marriage.
I'm not ever going to read again what you write so you can say what you like in reply as is your right. But, as you choose to make your feelings so public on the woman who is the father of your son, so, apparently do I. Oh, and how about not describing your son as 'the kid'. He is a real person, old enough to be married, old enough to begin university and old enough to be able to see his father for what he really is.
Know the way you tried to come up with a name for your wife? My husband (a brilliant man, both brain wise and as a human being just came up with one for you. MORON.
Overthehillandfaraway: I am going to say what I say to anyone that expresses and opinion like yours.
That being that from certain prespectives you can see things like you do. I am sure that many do and just do not write.
I ask that no, please, no one attack this woman for what she said as she is expressing an opinion and that opinion is valid.
I ask that you do read on, if not me someone else, and do stay on thoughts
I will add that some of your thoughts on my blogs come from a cultural use of certain phrases. I also write in a stream of thought style, so I may spell things wrong, I try to edit more when I can.
The rest I will again say is a valid way of seeing things.
I disagree, but it is valid
