This has been rought this weekend for KP trying to figure out what she needs to do.  She has other related issues that she also has to deal with that while they stem from her health issues are not the issue itself.  And it seems that I have not been as much a hero as a victim lately and she has had to keep me standing rather than the way it should be.  I am not looking to be told she is wrong, or that happens, she is right and it should not happen.  But now I see why....and the fact I never saw it before kills me....I am a control freak.  I know this about myself and have for years but it never hit me that all my mis-steps here or at least alot of them are because of that fact.  I ask constant "Ok what if...."questions of her to the point that anyone would go nuts.  I need to know how this is going to end and I guess for some dumb reason I think KP knows.   There is more to this but as a freind of mine and I were just talking about this and he pointed this out...and my jaw hit the floor and I just saw all the puzzle pieces fit better I wanted to share.  This is a process that is uncertain...me..her...the doctors...the milkman...no one knows that answer and I guess I forgot that recently and melted down.