That's a really good point. I've been trying to figure out if jealousy was a part of love. I find myself jealous often, and I feel bad about it, but I figure I'd want my boyfriend to be a little jealous if I were hanging out with another guy. To me, it just means that they care. Not like, raging jealousy where you're not alloud to have friends of the desired sex, but enough. Does that make sense?

I think you're doing the loving thing, the selfless act. It's always love to put someone else's feelings before your own. The green eyed monster is not love. Love is putting her interests first. Seems to me that's what you're doing. I'd say you were in love and God bless you for it. It's a tough row to hoe.

I guess I can see where she might want you to be a *little* more concerned about it.

Love, my friend, holds with an open hand and gives another total freedom to do as they please. Any man, in a relationship with me, has my full permission to make his own choices. I also have total freedom to make my own choices, in response to his actions -- which means some actions, taken by him, may cause me to choose not to stay in the relationship. To freely choose and desire to be with another is love expressed in it's purest form.

While it's admirable putting the needs of others first, I think it's a concept that can be taken too far. Unless we love and care for ourselves (know who we are) we are unable to reach out to love another. The analogy of oxygen masks, dropping on an airliner, is often used to demonstrate this concept. Before helping children parents must first -- take care of their own need - by putting on their own oxygen mask. As for "even if that hurts you". Love NEVER hurts -- it always feels good. Peace.

A little show of jealousy would show her that you find her attractive enough to be of interest to other men. Even if this isn't the case, it would give her strength to imagine that it's true. I've been reading your blog for a while now and it seems to me that if you want to solidify this relationship, there needs to be a bit of a power shift. By not showing any jealousy, you've said to her that you're not worried, that you think no one else would want her. Obviously this wasn't your intention, but it's the way she read it. If you show her that she is attractive enough for you to worry about losing her to someone else (regardless of whether or not this is actually the case), she will become stronger and as a result, she actually WILL become more attractive to you.

Man, I sure hope that made some sense! It did in my head! lol

It did boot
And I tell her all the time that there are men that would say I was nuts.
In fact I was glad because in a sense I think seeing that men would want her made her feel better, although as E2S shows...alot of the men on those sights are males and not men and are intrested in one thing