In the last week I watched two shows on HBO about people named Ted from Boston.  Both have their "faults" in my eyes.
Ted Williams was Red Sox.  And as a die hard Yankee fan I am pre-programmed to dislike him.  But as a baseball fan I had to watch a show about a baseball legend.  Learned alot watching it that I did not know.  If you like baseball or just a great life story and have HBO, watch it.

The other was about Ted Kennedy.
Now there is not a person who I have less politically in common with then Mr Kennedy.  But again he was a figure that for the last 70 plus years has been at a front row seat for history.  From being in London before the war, to the 60's and his two brothers, to all he has done good and bad, the man has been a force on the world stage.  Even a right wing conservative like I must tip a cap to him as he starts down the last miles of his life due to his brain cancer.

During the special I was reminded of a speech he gave upon the death of his brother Robert.  And as I watch the news I am seeing that maybe if nothing else he ever said is remembered and listened to in a larger general sense, this should be.
He said:
"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life."

We seem to do this far too much.

I just saw a report on the news that gives credit to Walter Cronkite for discovering The Beatles and bringing about their rise in America.  I have heard people praise him up and down and credit him for everything good about the news.  
Yet few bring up how he was the first to bring his opinion onto a pure news cast.  This has now grown to the point where news and editorial opinion are almost unable to be seperated.
I have heard how wonderful his personalty was.  Yet a few people I know that have ran into him during the years told me he was a self important, egomaniac that thought he walked on water and was never wrong!  The truth most likely lies in the middle no doubt.

Minutes after he died I heard activists warning "the white news" it better not bring up Micheal Jackson's bad points.  We heard for the next week about he influenced everything from music to dance to fashion and while some of his warts were talked about they were highly overshadowed.  And then at his tribute it got so bad that out and out lies were told to make him seem larger than he was.
We heard how he was the first black entertainer on the cover of Rolling Stone.  That was Tina Turner, followed by the likes of Hendrix and 5 more before you get to Mr Jackson.
We heard how he was the highest selling artist.
I bet the Beatles and Elvis and few others were shocked to hear he sold so many albums so fast as to overtake them in a week!

Tribute is great.
Even some hyperbole is expected.
And it is not classy to speak ill of the dead.
But maybe do not make them bigger than they are in terms of facts.  Because when you do that and people correct the error does it not diminish what they did really?
Ted Williams can be called the Greatest Hitter that Ever played and even I as a Yankee fan may say that in that area he may be.  However if someone upon his death had said he had the most hits, that would be a lie.  Many men have more.

(This next part is why I titled this the way I did....because now they have it in writting)

Many times I have told my family that I hope that when I go they do not just talk about my good points...if they can remember any.  I want them to talk about my bad one's too.
Both sides make you human and in many cases your bad points are parts of your good qualities that just go too far.
It also makes the person talking about you more believable.
If I was an ass, say so.

I had a grandmother that always favored me well beyond the other kids.  I have said many times that she would tell them off for littering yet I could commit murder and she would most likely say I must have had a good reason.  Her praise did not mean as much then most people's because that is all I heard from her. 
In her final years there was an incident where I had to smile and I even called her to say I guess finally I am human after all in her eyes.  The irony is that it really was a mistake on her part. She saw a picture of me taken from just the right angle that a light behind me was in just the righ place that it looked like I had an earing.  That was a BIG no no in her eyes and frankly nothing I would ever do.  But she called my father, then me, so disappointed in me.  Even when I showed her months later I had no hole she was not convinced.  She was sure I had failed her.
But it also made her praise from then on mean more.

I think that maybe if we are fair on both sides to the newly deceased it would make them even more human and thus the good things we say mean more.