A few days ago I was looking thru POPULAR POSTS and saw one on marriage, so I took a peek.
Unless my wife moved to Austrailia in the biggest piece of irony ever thought of, I was reading about a woman that in many ways is my wife. In many ways she is not also. I read about hurt, pain, betrayal...but I also read about young kids and I also heard a strength and a willingness to better ones self in the words that I do not get from my wife.
Now, in her defense, my wife says she wants to improve. But as I stuff my face with twinkies and chocolate shakes I can say I am trying to lose weight. I do though get my wife thinks she wants to improve, but she can not as I think she does not have the tools. To paraphrase a popular song " I say I want change and rehab , but my subconscious shouts NO NO NO" . If the book or self help DVD does not have her name on it and a step by step plan for HER to get better, the book or DVD is not helpful.
But this blog I read gave me the other side, the side my wife seems unable to put into words. How she would feel if she knew about KP, what I will be to her when I do leave, and it is a good thing to read and experience.
Again, everyone has a different set of facts and I also read from this blog a woman w/ passions, a woman w/ intellegence and a woman w/ friends to keep her upright that will walk out the other side of this a better person. I doubt my wife would ever blog and I even more KNOW that if she did I would not read these things from that blog.
EASYTOSAY I will keep reading you
As i said there, I have a sense you may read my blogs and hate me as I am the cheating husband, but I hope not.
I hope everyone that reads this sees me for what I am: a man that married a woman, was in love with her, loved the idea of being a married man, saw a great woman in my wife that had been buried under a lifetime of hurts, that after years of trying started to give up on the wife and thought he would just exist for a the next 30 or so years, then he met a woman that brought it all back to him, all the love and passion and fun and romance and smart conversations...and who is now, really more than anything, trying to make sure that when my wife falls she gets as soft a landing as possible and I can move on w/ the rest of my life not feeling I destroyed her life, but made her life and the life of her son, my son in my heart, better and more enriched.
Posted by whiteknight on 2008-02-08 07:46:54 | Rating: n/a | Views: 82
I can feel the honesty in this post. Been there; done that. I, too, worried about the hurt I would impose. There's no easy way, and there are no soft landings. But if you continue to be sincere, you may be able to salvage a friendship and a positive relationship that benefits your little one. I was lucky that way. I hope you find your way to happiness.
Thank you WhiteKnight - like you say I am like your wife in some ways, but so different in many others. I did not get the opportunity you have given your wife. I had no chance to change, no chance to come out of the mould that married couples sometimes fall into.
I was doing everything in my power to keep my family running and my husband gave up - he walked - he didn't give me any warning, no "I'm not happy" talk - unless you count the one he did the afternoon before he walked out. He then went on with his affair lying as he went - still teasing me with broken promises.
I continue to learn from your words, and the posts of others (OTHERWOMAN) your thoughts - and I get stronger each day. I think I've closed the door that was my husband. A door that will never open again.
I have many more posts that will show how I tried to walk back through that door and how my husband held a carrot for me - although I saw it more as a life line that a lure, there but it was for his own self fulfillment - nothing to do with giving us a real second chance.
I actually feel aligned with you rather than against you.
If my husband could've blogged then maybe I would have understood him better, instead all I see is he had an affair before he left me, and he chose the excitement and a younger woman over his FAMILY - and that is his biggest crime.
I appreciate people fall out of love - but they need to respect the loving party.
Thanks again WhiteKnight!
