Thoughts.com Blogs - No good deed goes unpunished

I wanted this part of last night to stand on it's own, because it was just so indicitive of so much.
My wife had a strained relationship with her family when we met. The longer I know all the parties involved the more I see why. She did not hate them and neither side had done any real harm to the other that one or the other side could point to. There was no one incident. From what I could tell my wife was engaged at 20/21 somewhere in there, the engagement ended because the guy had a nervous breakdown(NOT HER FAULT)and that launched this good girl into a rebel period.
From then till I met her it seems she was not at all close to mom and dad.
This is even more strange given her father had a disabling condition and was most likely going to die at some point...which he did about 7 or 8 years ago.
But I am big into family so I sort of got her to rekindle her bond there. She helped mom with dad, visted them almost weekly while he was alive, and all was well.
While she will admit her mother and her way of giving the deepest most hurtful left handed compliments is alot of her issue, she and her mom have become close. She makes sure mom is cared for, although her mother is a perfectly healthy woman and cares for herself, she makes sure like any good daughter that mom is OK, that she has company on the holidays, etc. That I did this WAS something I sort of saw as a good part of our marriage.

Now backing up again a few years: On our first date I expressed a want to move from this state soon. I said that NJ was not where I wanted to live out my life. She agreed that if we were a couple and married and all that that she would be more than willing to move and follow her man.
Besides her son, she saw no reason to stay here and he could come with us.
In the last 14 years I have had more than a few chances to go and move up the ladder. None that were offers I could not refuse, and some did not pan out, but some were offered and had to be turned down. My wife would say that she could not leave her father while he was ill. Then she could not leave mom so recent after dad's death.
Well last night I brought up the fact that with all her mentions of punishing me for breaking my promise to love her, I mentioned that she promised to move with me so i could move up the ladder. Her answer floored me.
It was my fault!
It was my fault I am not where i want to be or should be in my career !
Because had I not shown her that it was good to reconnect with her family she would have had no ties.
So I help her get those final few years with her dad as quality years where they saw each other and he knew his daughter loved him before he died and my reward is wasting my talent?
I am amazed at this
You know I think that in the next week I will post a blog on here that maybe fleshes out the one character that may be a little too two dimensional, my wife...still need a name for her...maybe DAW for "dumb ass wife"
It hurts me to even type that.
But maybe it is time to start the process of pulling my heart out of this one step at a time.
I do love this woman, but more and more I am seeing that is not enough.
I showed her a world she never knew, she did things she never thought she would, her son is so much better to have had me as a dad(I know that sounds bad, like arrogance, but i feel that way given what I know of him, her and what I did), and I gave her her parents back...and I am punished