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| New York/In love with two women
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Yesterday I took a day off from work and went to NYC. Was going to the reading of a play a friend of mine wrote, he had this during the day as I think they were not that hopeful...listen he is my friend and I am biased but it was not bad. Anyway...the point is that while I walked the streets of NY all I could think of is how much I want to show KP this city that I love...and how she will enjoy it. Then riding back to my car on the train I was listening to my IPOD and a song came on that was one of our wedding songs at my wedding...We(she)picked one as the main one and then each picked a song fo each other. I realized that this song fit KP now, and frankly always, more than the wife. Why? Well my heart has been flipping back and forth since I met this woman and we started having feelings,,Do I? Shoud I leave my wife? How will that hurt my wife and son? Is this possible I have these feelings yet never have seen her in person? Should I try to steal second when I am very safe on first? And then add in the comments left here about me only wanting this because she is an unobtainable woman.....and I knew a man when I first started working where I do that was that in textbook. He fell head over heels for a girl that was in our training class, but she was engaged. I mean flowers, poems, the whole 9 yards. She liked him as a friend and near the end tolerated him. During that same time he sort of liked this other woman who was also attached. Well the first woman leftfor another job and the second broke up with her boyfriend. She was available, she even sort of made it clear she would date this guy. He was not intrested. But in a few months she met another man and they became engaged and married and are still married. But s I am sure you have figured out, the minute another guy had her, he wanted her again. Now he left years ago from where we work but he is still single, lives in the other 1/2 of a mother/daughter house in Edison NJ. He is basically waiting for the woman to ring his doorbell in the dress ready to marry him. But why I bring this up is I saw how a person can only want "safe" women that he can not have..THAT IS NOT ME ....ok back to the song on the train...this song basically has a refrain of "ALL I KNOW" ..that I love you, ....that I want you......that it feels like forever. In other words I know very little anymore, but I know this, I love KP and she loves me and I want her.....But can you love two women at once? I do not hate my wife, I tell her that I love her everyday. I do care about her, but the spark is gone! And I have tried...therapy for me(which began before I even met her as I said earlier), therapy for us(which I had to beg to have her do), new ideas in bed, flowers, romantic gestures, lil gifts, name it I tried it and she is a block wall. All I know is that while I care for this woman and hurting her will be hard, because in her mind and to many people watching from the sidelines she has done nothing wrong.."You knew that when you married her/me". true I knew it but I changed and grew and you refuse to. Agin I do not hate her, we rarely argue and that I feel is part of the problem...but I love KP more. As I think I said before I am not Woody Allen saying 'Th heart wants what the heart wants" and screw the world or morals or anything else...but also I do not want to live a life of quiet despiration(a help here. who said Men live lives of quet despiration"?). ...more later
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Posted by whiteknight on 2007-10-13 06:24:11 | Rating: | Views: 86
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Just be honest with your wife...You can love her, and yet have feelin's for another woman. To me, is just fine...You just fell out of the marriage or somethin' like that. Which is understandable...Don't do anythin' with this another woman yet, until you figure out what your goin' to do with your wife. Don't tell her there's another woman...or your wife will take you for all you got...Just be safe...xo
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Posted by olp76
on 2007-10-13 06:31:09
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