I saw KP's post and wanted to add a lil from my end.  As anyone who reads both blogs knows I face a similar situation in that I am loving a wife and KP.  And after alot of pushing I too see change from my wife like she sees from her husband.  Like KP I also see that mine could be short lived and once I stop pushing this rock up this mountain she will let it roll down the hill again and be her old self.  I saw that first hand when in 2006 I sprung my unhappiness on her, we had 6 weeks of real arguements and almost split up and then the holidays came and I took the chance to see if any of it stuck.  Had it stuck, had she used what I gave her to do, had she turned to me and said "fine you want me to do XYZ, well buddy I want ABC!!!!", had she used my 6 month cool off to show me that after the fire that makes steel...you need time to let the metal cool and then it is strong..had she done that KP might have lost me.    But no, she did what I know she will do again, she sat back, watched the rock I let go of roll down to the valley and figured it was not important.  When I ask now about it she tells me she did not know what to do so she didn't do anything.  I thought men were the ones that never asked directions when lost !!!!  So now she says she is listening, now she says she gets it, she now watches TV shows she thinks will help and watches DVD's, and reads, and reads and reads....but to what end?  She still tells me she has no idea what I want...then you ain't been listening sister!!!!  She even told me the other day, in response to a question,  that after close to 15  years of marriage and a year before that of dating that she has no idea what pushes my sexual buttons.....KP has never met me, never touched me physically, never been in the same hemisphere/contient/time zone/country/town/ house/ bed...yet she could tell you 15 things off the top of her head and have more if I gave her time to think !!!!!   And yes every man has that dark deep thing that he never tells his wife, the tape of midgets speaking Klingon dressed in cowgirl outfits that he imported from Freedonia..(.LOL...).but a wife should have some answers in 16 years.  So barring a miracle bigger that the USA hockey win in 1980 I have chosen what I want.  I will take  woman that contacts me on Christmas Eve to say that she finally has decided that all she wanted was a kiss from me this Christmas over a woman who claims she is listening to me when i tell her my heart but acts as if she needs Ann Sullivan to show up.(If you don't get the reference look it up).  I am not nieve enough to think life with KP will be all roeses and sunshine and rainbows....someone in an earlier comment to my or KP's blog called us Romeo and Juliet.  There is a reason they teach that in Freshman year in HS and not Senior year, because you still think love is that pure and deep and nothing can stop love....no in Senior year you get McBeth w/ the scheming wife...LOL...or King Lear where you learn women drive you nuts....my point is that I know this will be hard and one morning my car will not start, another the kids will need braces or hurt their knee or have a boyfriend issue or wreck my new car.  But behind every great man is a woman and all i need is get life to cooperate and let me get the one I want behind me and the wife in my rear view mirrior.