A few years back my brother had a daughter that was born with much more than her share of issues. The most severe was that she was blind. This little bundle of love was really not blessed with an easy life. But I had alot of plans as her uncle. I saw myself taking my neice out and showing her the world that I saw, in that I love photography that would be something I thought I could try to do in some small way. Even at a year old she really embodied alot of hope.
Then one morning that all ended.
You see I have been very lucky. My parents are still alive and kicking. My grandparents, all but one, waited well into my life/their lives before they died. So you could say that while you will miss them, and years later I do in many ways and I often wonder what my grandparents would think if I told them about KP, but while you miss them, they lived long lives and the funerals were not completly sad occasions. In terms of friends, I have never lost one yet to death. My brothers and sisters are all still here. Death has not been mean to me.
But then one morning I get a call on the way to work that my neice was dieing and to hurry and see her and say goodbye. I did. I will never forget standing there, looking at this lil 13 month old baby in this big large bed and thinking that life is not fair. I also remember kissing her little head and telling her to keep an eye on her crazy uncle.
She held on a few days, but I never went back in that room again. I wanted that to be my goodbye.
Later today I am making a stop at the cemetary. Never been a big guy for going to those places. I keep thinking that they are filled with people who people have either forgotten or everyone that could remember them is in a place just like it. That is why I plan to have my ashes spread somewhere and be part of the world. Look for me in the wind, the shoreline, a rock, everywhere. But I plan to go there and talk to her, I do even when I am not there but since her body lies there I go every year this week and sort of update her.
I need her to keep an eye on her uncle, and I need my special angel, my familes angel, to make sure that KP gets better. And i need to ask her in person.
It never dawned on me till now, but KP came into my life a year after the angel left. Maybe she was keeping an eye on her uncle after all.
There is more to this story, I will tell it another day, but just know life has balance
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