Posted by
OKOFCOURSE
on 2007-11-20 06:58:19 |
 |
 |
|
 |
First things first - There is no such thing as southern New Jersey. New Jersey is up North.
Now is it impossible to reconcile even with some help. If your wife is trying hard than maybe you should give her some guide lines as to what you want. If it's just the Heather Locklear syndrome then I think that problem is with you and besides Heather is mine and you can't have her.
J |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
SallyDJ
on 2007-11-20 07:53:04 |
|
|
|
|
| You need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, some people who have hard times would kill to have a normal life like you, with someone that actually cares about them and what they do like your wife does for you, and you seem to me, that you dont give a rats ass, about her and what she might be going through, you seem to me to be very selfish, and quite frankly arrogant, and Heather by the way might not look twice at you and she is happily married I believe. Think of others in your family for a change, and maybe change your life within the family unit to give your wife some ideas on how you feel, what she doesnt know she cant help with, be honest you wimp!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
whiteknight
on 2007-11-20 08:24:41 |
|
|
|
|
| I think you all are getting this wrong, ands Sally, read the whole blog and I think you will see I have told her, she knows what I want. As for Heather, it was an analogy. Lets try this one and maybe it helps: You have the best hammer ever made, it is the perfect hammer, the hammer every tool kit should not be w/o...but you need to screw in a screw. That hammer, short of just wacking the screw into place, is useless. And yes I am fully aware that people would kill for her, I said as much here in this post and I count 4 times before in my blogs where I said that or something like that. Irony of ironies she and KP's husband might be a great fit. All I am saying is that at this point she is not for me I think...I could be wrong and that is why I keep going to the therapy that I, and I mean I dragged her to it kicking and screaming, that I suggested and insisted on. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
SallyDJ
on 2007-11-20 09:04:01 |
|
|
|
|
| Then seperate for a couple of months, not actually going with anyone else in that time, but keep in touch with each other, but give each other some breathing space, to mull over your feelings about everything, she might surprise you, and be able to cope without you, but she might not know that yet, cos everything is still the same, in the same house. If you seperate for a bit, just visit your stepson and your wife, and let them visit you, that way you might find you can sort things out with each on a neutral territory. When you are both at home in each others pockets so to speak, the view always seems to be murky, confused, and there seems no way out, but take that out of the equation and 99% of the time you tend to see things more clearly and you tend to see a direction in life for all three of you. You might not know that you cant do without her, until you have to do it for yourself, and then you might see if you miss her. While she is still within reach in the same house, you cant miss her, cos she is always there. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
whiteknight
on 2007-11-20 09:53:11 |
|
|
|
|
| Sally, I looked at all your comments on all blogs, must be nice to have all the answers |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
OKOFCOURSE
on 2007-11-20 10:19:26 |
|
|
|
|
You're right. I don't know the situation and I should not have commented but I do think you should try to work it out if you have a wife that's like you say. Maybe talking her into therapy and explaining that it's for you as well as her. It all in the presentation. Do some dry runs before you talk to her again about it.
J
P.S Damn Sally, Heather married! That sure busts my bubble. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
whiteknight
on 2007-11-20 16:26:57 |
|
|
|
|
Just to add, as I have said earlier to others...criticism is fine on here, I WELCOME it, but informed comments and comments from those that from waht I can see seem to dictated from Olympus are another. J, you are fine, I think you just needed to read more about the hx and your ideas would be valid.....so keep the cards and letters coming people, just do not talk out your ass like some.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
crash413
on 2007-11-21 06:26:01 |
|
|
|
|
Whats up white knight. I'm not here to criticize you. I only read your blog because I have a similar situation. I understand where you are coming from. For the last year, I felt like I wanted that divorce and I felt like I was lying whenever I told my wife I loved her. I treated her horrible too...not just as a wife, but as a human being.
I got through it all and realized that I trule loved my wife. I didn't want to be apart from her. The sad thing is, I realized it too late and I may not be able to get her back.
When I get home, we'll be seperated. I know that we both need to have our space to figure out if we really want to be with the other. Maybe that's what you need to find out if you truly feel this way?
I'm definitely going to bookmark your blog though. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
nikilynn1113
on 2007-11-21 09:04:09 |
|
|
|
|
WK~ How about an opinion from someone who knows the WHOLE story??? I think that a separation is a great idea, as you may find out she is not as helpless as you think she is. You may learn that you really do need and want this woman in your life. If however, you find out that it's really what you want...you are already separated, and it will make the journey to divorce court a little simpler. : ) I agree that the *man* desires are important, but really, we all have desires in the bedroom..have you ever considered you aren't meeting hers, OR that she's too afraid to tell you what she really wants? It's not easy for women to speak thier mind in that department sometimes. I do still wish you guys all the best..as always!!
*hugz*
; ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Posted by
SallyDJ
on 2007-11-22 06:08:37 |
|
|
|
|
| Well done to nikilynn1113, I agree with everything in this response. And just for information Whiteknight I dont have all the answers, I was just trying to help you come to an informed decision about both your futures and your sons both emotionally and mentally. Ive been through a divorce and it wasnt pleasant, and I wouldnt want to do it again. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
