Thoughts.com Blogs - Back to the wife

I know that I have been dwelling more on the news the last week or so and maybe it is easier to talk about that stuff than home and life but I wanted to blog this and see what some of the hard core readers think.

The wife has been doing alot of work lately, alot!!!
In some ways this is great. I have the house basically to myself and can watch what I want on TV, get all the little things I wanted to get done done, and lounge out w/o the underlying stress that seems to come from us being in the same house at the same time. We don't fight, but that is part of the problem. If we fought more maybe we would work through things more rather than live in this "pleasant cold war" that seems to happen.
So with her home last night I decided to sort of revisit talks we had before. Simply sitting around and ignoring all this is not getting us anywhere. So I asked if in the week and half, almost 2 weeks, since we last spoke about our marriage did she have any thoughts, did she want to talk about anything? She complains all the time that I tear her down in these talks so I thought maybe if it started from a calm open ended area, where she set the agenda, this might bear some fruit.
Boy was I wrong
She said she really had not thought much about it so unless I had a subject, she really did not want to talk. Wait!!! Your marriage is going bad, your husband is talking like he wants to leave, I have all but said that the money aspect is all that keeps me here, and she has not a thought about the marriage??!!!
I could understand if maybe she had decided that it was over and she was planning her move out, if she is she hides it well, and if she was that good at hiding things it would show an aspect of her I doubt is there, an aspect that frankly would be attractive.
But to have no comment on your marriage and almost say that it does not matter is amazing!
But I decide to ask if she thinks that in the two weeks that I have left this lay has she seen any growth in herself? Yes but she could not say where.
We then go on to talk about growth and she decides to tell me that she is not sure she will ever grow, she might, she might not, she might grow a little, alot, the wrong way...but since she has no idea what will happen she needs me to decide if I want to be married to her.
Wait
So I am to make this BIG choice but not have any facts to base it on. Yes I know, I have all these years of marriage to base it on but an idea of what is to come might help.
And then she adds that she has decided I do not love her, but she loves me, so that is why she is staying.
Would anyone stay in a marriage that the other person does not love them in? I do love her, I have fallen out of being IN LOVE with her, but I love her. But she feels I am not even loving her, so why stay?
I at least am staying because of a reason, I like eating and being able to support myself.
I am just unable to get this woman.
But at least with all the work she is doing I am seeing her less so the uneasiness is less.
Oh and I guess I should be happy.
I asked her about a friend she has that she sometimes goes to dinner with on a monthly basis and wondered when they are going to meet up. She told me that her extra job is her social life now. This was not a joke, it was not sarcasm SHE MEANT THIS SERIOUSLY. Many people love their jobs, but few will call them a social life. And if she meant she would meet new friends to maybe have a social life with, that would be great, but no, she meant that a p[art time night job was a social life.
I should have listened to her friend that warned me before we were married...but that is a blog for another day