I wrote this essay just over two years ago. Someone's search for the meaning of love has inspired me to post it. At the time, I didn't know my husband. I was a senior in high school, and actually quite lonely.

“Love is Oxygen”
(Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge, 2001)


Love is not any one nameable thing. It is a myriad of actions, attitudes, habits, and reactions. It is in the air we breathe. It is in every word we speak. Every single move we make, whether we realize it or not, is made out of self-love or love for another. Love is all around us, and it transcends all words and all of time.
Some would argue that love is not intrinsic to human nature, but that cannot be true. If it isn’t, then how would it have come to be such an important part of our culture? It may be that love has evolved over time, but so has society. As we grow and develop both physically and mentally, we discover who we are as people. During these formative years, we learn how to love ourselves, and through this self-love, we learn to love others. Self-love is often viewed in a skewed light, however, and we have to be careful not to love ourselves overly much, because then we will be prideful, and then no one will love us besides ourselves. It is a tenuous balance between self-love and love of self. Through self-love we learn charity, and through charity we learn to love others. And even when we believe that we don’t love ourselves, we still do, because we learned how to do so as children. With that childhood knowledge in our hearts, we are able to love others throughout our whole lives. Once that kernel of self-love is in our hearts, it never truly dies.
When we speak in anger or seeming hatred, our words are reflections of distorted love, such as neglect or abuse. Words spoken in kindness and caring are reflections of true love. When we compliment another, we are subconsciously looking inside ourselves for what we see in that other person that we admire. We learn to emulate the things we love and admire in others, so that we might be loved and admired for those same things. We, as people, crave attention and affection like nourishment. This does not have to be a negative thing, and can indeed be quite positive. It only becomes negative when a person becomes obsessive and/or possessive of another’s attentions and affections. One who becomes possessive of another is exemplifying a distorted form of love – abuse.
The actions we make are similar to the words we use – they reflect some form of love. Even the most sterile of activities have an undertone of love to them: holding a door open for a stranger, helping the elderly with groceries or across a street, or holding an elevator. These things aren’t done for personal gain; they’re done to ease another’s daily stress. These are selfless actions, and by definition, giving of yourself is giving of your love to another. In this single way it is possible to love a stranger. Put in this light, “love thy neighbor as thyself” is no longer such an ambiguous statement. Clearly, the simplest acts of kindness can show the deepest of love.
Love is human nature. It is everything we do, day in and day out. Love is our morning routine, whether we realize it or not. It is our hopes and dreams; our wildest imaginings. Self-love allows us to show love to others, regardless of whether we truly feel that self-love or not. The world around us is love, and as we change, it is still love; it is still the world, no matter how much it may look different on the surface.


PS: Please don't steal my work. :)