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Ragey.

Today's youth really get under my skin.
Probably mostly because I'm strongly reminded of my own formative years.

I remember strongly desiring attention, being the only gothic kid in my junior high....then, the self mutilation that plagued me for years. I did it because therapy wasn't working for me, because it was something I could control...and now, kids are cutting themselves because they think it's the cool thing to do. That alternately breaks my heart and disgusts me. I'm so distressed by how this has come about so suddenly.

I'm so grateful that my parents sent me to that hospital in Boise...even though I hated them at the time, it really saved my life. I've struggled since then, but my life has come a complete 180, and now I can deal with my depression in healthy ways, without alcohol, nicotene, or cutting. I managed (purely by the grace of God, I'm sure) to make it til marriage without being pregnant, and I've never tried an elicit drug. I've recovered my zest for life, for fun, and sense of purpose. I had a rough childhood, but that didn't dictate who I became.

It's not impossible to rise above. It's not impossible to move beyond society. It's actually rather easy to stand out - by academics, musical/theatrical talent, or just being kind.

My scars remind me of my past, of where I came from. Who I used to be, and who I have become instead of falling into that abyss.