Looking out my window, I see that it's a cold winter day. Snow is everywhere, and the flurries started a few hours ago. People are bundled up as they hurry along the sidewalk, some of them clutching warm cups of coffee in their gloved hands. Walking down the street in my neighborhood, I look around with the wonder of a child and get that feeling that only comes to me when it's Christmastime.

...but it isn't.

It's almost March, for crying out loud. I feel as if I'm in the midst of the holiday season, and I put that to bed almost two months ago. Yet, standing in the middle of my street, I'm full of yule tidings all over again. Why? Not because of the snow or the chill in the air. That'll be here for weeks to come. No, I'm feeling that holiday spirit because half the population in my city still hasn't taken the Christmas Wreaths off their front doors!

It happens every year. I find myself on a stroll in my neighborhood or, more often, traveling in some other city in North America, only see the wreaths still hanging on the fronts of homes until almost April. Sometimes there's even a half-inflated plastic snowman or Santa Claus, still trying to wave at me from under the weight of two pounds of dirty snow and ice, slumped over in the yard. These poor, depressed symbols seem to be taunting me, reminding me of a joyful season that didn't disappear in grand fashion on New Year's Eve, but instead whimpered away as the early weeks of the new year rolled on. Like a relative that came to visit and then refused to leave, the Christmas Wreaths are no longer welcome, and need to go away.

They are jarringly out of place, too, and only confuse my inner calendar. Their holly leaves surrounding figurines of reindeer and Kris Kringle, with "Happy Holidays" crossing through the middle, make me feel like I have dementia when I see them on my way home from Valentine's Dinner with my girlfriend. Like Rip Van Winkle, I awake one morning (or afternoon, as is normally the case) to see "Merry Christmas" on the houses down the street. Then I wonder to myself, "How long did I sleep?"

I can understand the Christmas lights I see that are still hanging from the trees and rooftops of the buildings in the city. I don't want to climb on my roof in the snow, either. Those lights, however, can mostly be ignored since they're useless when they aren't turned on, and hardly noticeable any other time. The lights are kind of like the invisible bacteria that I'm told have literally infested my hotel bedspread: I know they are there, I'm not happy about it, but I don't really notice them enough to be annoyed. If the local Hooters can keep Christmas lights up all year round without it looking seasonal, I guess my accident-prone neighbors can, too.

The Wreaths, on the other hand, are only on the door out of pure laziness. Seriously, people, how hard it to open the front door and pull the Christmas Wreath down? If you use your front door so little that you don't open it between December and April, it might be time to make some new friends. Have a party, meet a Jehovah's Witness, invest in a pyramid scheme, or do anything that will get you up off the couch, at the door, and yanking down Jolly Ol' Saint Nick before it's time to pull your surfboard out of the closet.

Christmas is the last in a string of annual holidays, which is why I think the Wreaths stick around so long. You put the jack-o-lantern on the doorstep and take it down when you put up the Thanksgiving decorations. Then, just as the turkey is settling in your stomach, you take down what's left of the Autumn decor and move right into Merry Christmas. Then, nothing happens for a while and some people's Christmas decorations only go away with the arrival of the Easter Bunny.

Well, it's time for a movement, my friends. This isn't some covert, quiet operation that will be handled discreetly by a small army of mercenaries. No, this a full-fledged assault. For this, we might just need the help of the National Guard and foreign armies. It's the biggest inner-struggle North America has seen since perhaps the Civil War. This will require skill, strength, cunning, and military intelligence, the likes of which we have never seen. I call it "Operation: Wreath Out".

Much like "Hands across America", this movement involves taking your hand and reaching out (or "wreathing out", if you'll pardon the expression) to your neighbors and loved ones. Let them know that you support them, believe in them, and know in your heart of hearts that the Wreaths can be taken down painlessly and with little effort. Take a stand in your community and get others around you to join in our fight. Much like a grassroots campaign, we can win this if we stick together and let our numbers grow. Contact the local media and demand their attention to this matter as it pertains to the very backbone of our society as we know it. Ask your elected officials what they can do to see that no Wreath is left behind.

Change can happen, and it can happen now. We can make a difference and, just like returning an orphan child to his family, we can give the Holiday Season back to December where it belongs. Every year, people in the media and press speculate that there is a "War on Christmas" happening right now in our very community. My friends, that war does exist.

Unfortunately, it exists in March.