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| i don't deserve a guy who ain't got the dick
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i don't wanna see him anywhere, anytime.
i don't know if i still hate him.
but my dreams for the last 2 nights were about him.
when the day started i tried to figure out what is that something that can be related to my dream.
yesterday, i tried my best not to think of my dream and of him.
but today, when i was cleaning up in my room, i just remembered him.
everything about us, particularly when we were about to break up.
i could remember those times when i was trying to call him and he doesn't want to answer his phone.
i was calling then because i want to patch things up and give our relationship another chance for survival.
i wasn't really the one who was supposed to be giving that relathionship a chance but him.
he is still loving the girl from his past when he already have me.
it was so heartbreaking that i didn't have the opportunity to get into another relationship after that.
I have so many reasons: my child, my situation, my parents, and my fear.
My fear of getting into that situation again and maybe all i'm gonna say then is:"deja vu".
i am really tired.
and it is a fucking thing to remember him and to post a blog about him.
the only good thing here is that i was able to let this thing out from my mind, my heart.
i sacrificed for him.
i let him go because i love him back then.
i love him then and all i should do to prove that love is to let him go and let him be with his true love.
it was so painful but i've learned a lot from that heartbreak.
i've earned so much fear of falling in love again.
i've listed on my mind the playful tactics of jerks like him.
i practiced skillfully my defense mechanism, whatever it is.
and i thank him for that.
i thank him for making me realize that i don't deserve someone like him, that i don't deserve a guy who ain't got the dick to respect me as me, to love me for what i am.
i know it has something to do with my child because we often argue about that issue before.
what i don't really understand is: why did he still continue to court me even if i already told him the truth, that i am already a mom?
definitely, he was just trying to spin my head and play with me.
and that, considering it as a fact and as something written in history, was already accepted by me.
i deserve someone better, far better than him. |
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Posted by waitin on 2008-05-27 11:55:42 | Rating: | Views: 87
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heey thanks for the post
sounds like youve got quite the situation too, lol
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Posted by hillery
on 2008-05-27 15:09:01
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that you are a Mother, is, to some of us, not a notch against you; at first I was too usure of my role in a relationship with a single Mother, but, I came to love the two of Them Equally. It was all the other stuff that drove us apart; but being a Mother is a glorious thing, any true man will not discount you for this fact, but see you as that much more commited and determined; a catch.
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Posted by bloodintheeyes
on 2008-06-17 01:01:15
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thanks bloodintheeyes, it's nice to know that there are also men , like you, who are men enough to love single moms and their children too. :)
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Posted by waitin
on 2008-06-17 05:39:04
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