Hey everyone, Vlips here wirting for the first time ever on a blog. I must admit i am kinda excited for this. All my friends tell me I should have a blog b/c of all the things that happen to me so yeah. So i'm gonna jump right into the latest situation I've had to face. I would love any advice on the situation if you have any.

     Okay so this past weekend I met someone. For privacy sake, lets say his name is Bob. so I met Bob on friday at a halloween party i attended. Mind you, one of my close friends Rebecca invited him b/c she thought i would like him. well, lets say that this first meeting didn't go too well b/c he wasn't even interested in me. Then the following saturday evening i went to a frat halloween party and guess who showed up with Rebecca. so i guess he had changed his mind and we hit it off really well. we ended up back at his twin brother's place. Before I go any further you shoould know that i DID NOT have sex with him but I did fall asleep in his arms. technically speaking we spent the night together.

   Anywayz, he took me home Sunday morning and we talked all sunday and Monday. when I say talked, i mean really talked. I will admit, he was the first boy I have been able to have an intelligent conversation with in a long time. I mean lets face it, boys aren't the smartest beings on the planet except for a couple of them that includes me. Moving on, we talked about everything from religion to sex and future goals. I thought I had found someone who i could be with. Naturally just when things are going great...... something always gets in the way. So on Tuesday when we were having our usual three hour convo He informs me that, although he is very much attracted to me, he has sworn off dating black men b/c his last and first bf hurt him and this guy HAPPENED to be black. You can imagine the anger, frustration, and confusion that was running through my head. Then he continues to tell me that, although his friends supposedly have little influence in his life, his friend would not approve of our relationship because of my skin color for the same reason as him.

    Now being the rational and intelligent person my mother raised me to be i tried my hardest to understand. i mean i understand being afraid because you've been hurt before but I have never heard of swearing off a particular race because of it. so after some serious consultation with rebecca and two other very close friends of mine i called Bob and asked one simple question. I asked him if he was honestly attracted to me or if he was more interested in the idea of me because if he was really interested in me then my skin color would have nothing to do with his desicion to date me. He then answered by saying that if I had ti ask that question then I shouldn't be talking to him. So then I said that I feel like he is interested in me but my heart has lead me astray before and I am very cautious with my heart. He then proceeded to get off the phone with me and not txt me back when i txted him.

    Then on wednsday night his brother Mark was having a halloween gathering and he invited rebecca and I. Grant it, I knew Bob would be there and I knew it would be awkward but I went anywayz because I realised that I shouldn't let him ruin my fun. So when Bob showed up he walked in a said hello to EVERYONE except me. Then for the rest of his stay, an hour or so, he acted like I wasn't even there. As mad as this made me, I remained calm and didn't get straight up hood on his ass like i wanted to but now I can't seem to get him off my mind. i don't get it. Everything was so great a couple days ago and now he is being an immature asshole. As much as I want to call him and bitch him out, I'm afraid to. I just don't know what to do in this situation. All my closest friends say that i should just let it all go but how do you let go of someone that you had such an intense connection with. when I slept in his arms I felt safe for the first time in a long time and when we talked I felt like he had everything I was looking for. I don't know........ (sigh).... I just don't know.