I grew up in an unsual situation, for the time that is. My mother had me when she was 19, she's the oldest of 7 children (3 boys, 4 girls), although i never got to meet my youngest uncle Peter as he died at age 2 =(  My youngest aunt Jacinta (Cindy) is 9 years older then me, and is also who i'm currently living with at the moment. And of course i do wonder what life would be like had Peter lived on, I'm sure we'd be pretty close, most of my aunts and uncles are more like my brothers and sisters as you could imagine. I was the baby in the household, I think i also filled the void that was left after Peter's passing, so I had a lot of attention growing up. Even now, at least once or twice a year my mind wonders what Pete would of been like now

It wasn't until i started primary school that i learnt to see my situation as "different". Kids can be pretty mean when they don't understand that they live a charmed life.

Let me back up a bit for a second, as i mentioned my mum had me at 19, however, as you may have worked out, it was an unplanned pregnancy. My father, or donator of genes, whatever you want to call him, was, and i can only assume, very besotted with my mum. He was also, from what i remember mum telling me 3rd generation Australian Greek. What this means was that he was sowing his wild oats before having to settle down with a family approved arranged marriage. Me rocking up on the scene would have caused quite a bit of drama for that family, as it was there was a court hearing to prove i was his. I think that court case really gutted my mum, i remember her telling me that one of the witnesses was a girl that was keen on him, and she told this elaborate tale of how my mum was the type that slept around, so you could imagine my mum's horror at hearing that, as it was all very untrue. Anyways, you really only needed to take one look at me to see that i came from him, my mother is from a english/irish background so fair skin, brown hair, green eyes etc etc. And here i am, olive skin, big dark brown eyes and dark brown curly hair with a hint of red, wouldn't take a genius to work out them genetics.

My mum gave up the rights for any kind of maintence payments for me, in favour of raising me without contact with him or his family. I believe that at the time my grandmother was concerned that they might try to take custody of me at a later stage, so they went the path of non contact. And to this day i have never met my father. I've had conversations with other people, either people in similar circumstances or adoptee's, and 9 times out of 10 they'd all want to go seek their fathers/mothers out. Personally i dont think i've ever felt that drive to do so, i have no complaints with how i was raised, and i do agree that having him in my life would of complicated matters more early on. Now 31, i still don't have that drive to meet him either. Of course I'm curious, but i don't think my tracking him down would make much of a difference. And i'm sure that there are some half brothers and sisters out there that probably have no idea that their father spawned another child :P I find that i have no desire to be disruptive to their or his life or mine for that matter.

So, growing up, in a single parent situation in the late 70s- early 80s, living with my grandma and with most of my aunts and uncles (aging from 15+), my perseption of the world was quite adult, yet at the same time i was extremely niaive. I'd make a joke in primary school and only the teacher would understand it, and i hear that i was quite a source of amusement in that regard. Nothing was really "normal" to most of my primary school friends at that point, I basically had two mums, if i called out mum at any point either my actual mum or my gran would come, so in the end "mum" was my gran and if i wanted my actual mum i'd call out her name. So that was weird to my fellow schoolmates as well, as i'd often refer to my mum as Sally, not "mum". Not having a father figure, another weird concept to those youngsters. Father's day was a pretty much non event, so father's day activities at school were kinda awkward, though i think i remember having one of my uncles fulfil a role once.

Speaking of uncles, I just had an amusing flashback, when i was in high school, i'd taken a picture of one of my uncles to school for some reason (escapes me atm), any way it was of when he was still in high school himself, so the photo was about 10 years old at that point, one of the girls in my class saw it and virtually swooned over it, was most amusing, she said she thought he was really hawt. I don't think i told my uncle this, though i'm sure he was quite popular with the girls back then (i think both of my uncles were), he's a pretty nice looking guy and has aged well in my opinion. (wish we could all be that lucky hey!)

I've been told that i was a pretty ill child, fibroid convulsions ( think thats what they are called), bronchitis, at one point i believe they thought i might die, so thats always sobering to live through something like that, of course i have no recollection of it as i was a baby. Gave my aunt heart attacks everytime i fell over in my walker, cos i'd hold my breath in shock, and she'd be begging me to breath, when i did it was usually a big old scream, you know how kids are. In the first three-four years of my life i lived in Belmont, and i remember, the fashion of the 70s, i remember skateboards, i remember nude sunbaking in th back yard, i remember our dogs Pip and Hookie, and our cats. I remember, being burnt on the leg by the iron i accidently walked back into, I remember making mud pies and putting those little red berries in them for colour.

Moved to East Geelong and started Primary school which, when i look back now seems kinda surreal. Good memorys and embarassing ones flood my mind of that time, strange little tipbits also float through, like buying a small glass plate at the mother's day sale one year for my mum, not sure why that was significant but the memory is there. Being harassed by grade 6'ers, being nicknamed "puddles" for a short time by Glenn, seriously if i ever see him again i'm gunna punch him for that, totally cruel thing to do. I remember playing with barbie dolls, having mum make homemade clothes for them. I remember collecting match box cars and spending hours and hours laying on the floor driving them around the mat on the floor. Remember the scaletrix slot car set that my uncles had that always intrigued me and i wasn't allowed to go near, of sneaking around the back sheds and playing with all the weird old crap in there.

From Primary School, the people i remember from back then, um, the girls would be Gabrielle (so smart, mature and a good friend), Joanna (my first real Greek friend, what an eye opener!), Sabina (what a colourful soul), Sarah (very down to earth and shy), Tanya (naturally beautiful person inside and out), Rachel (co conspirator and corruptor), Julie (total bitch that needed to learn tolerance), Metissa (mouse-like, always darting around doing lots of things), Larelle (very honest person and a good loyal friend, who i hung around for extra reasons - see below), Anne-marie (always felt she was our pragmatist, but good fun person). The guys would be, Anthony (swoon), Wayne (class clown), Peter (very shy james dean esk quality about him), Glenn (self obessed shit head, but had his redeeming qualities), Damien (Boofa..man i actually jumped into a dumpster to retrieve a tennis ball for you, what a mate!), Gary (in this day and age guy mostly likely to be closet gay - sorry!) Mark (jelly man - he of pioneer truck drawing..endlessly), Matthew (maths nerd, actually made me start to realise i was at school to learn)... there was another one, but i can't put my finger on his name =( Those would be the ones i remember the most or had some kind of impact on my life, for varying reasons good and bad :P

I remember having a few childhood crushes :)  Think the first one was Michael my teddy bears picnic photo buddy...i love that photo even now, wonder if i can find a copy, i was seriously doing the whole "cutesy" thing, then i think it was Peter a few years later, he seemed so lost and shy, i remember when he first came to class he cried, embarassing for him, but musta been stressful starting a new school. Followed by Anthony, another transfer in, heh, that one was interesting as i used to hang around a girl who made no illusion that she liked him, and so i hung around her so i could hang around him, arh how the mind of a 10-11 year old works hey!  When i left primary school i went to a all girls school and he went to a all boys school, and i think i didn't see him until ...like 3 years later, and i remember my heart still fluttered. Silly girl ;P He went out with one of my friends at high school for a time, so I'm under no illusions that he probably suspected about my crush or was told, and i think i may have admitted it to him when i was 18 while under the influence anyways.

Oh wait, almost forgot about Nathaniel....holey shit...bronzed bloody god type being, hello, my first foray into seeing eye candy. Think he was swedish .Total eye stimulation that boy from top to toe, lean athletic smart.. and WAY out of my league. ^^

In the last few years of primary school, i shared my afternoons with two sisters, Shevonne and Natasha, their connection to me...well too damn convuluted to write down here. Needless to say that it was an eye opener for me, having people my own age around me ..on my home soil was often very tough, my private world at home kinda got ripped asunder, but mostly it was a good experience to have them around i'm sure they probably weren't too happy with the situation either at some points. i remember i needed breaks from it cos it was overwhelming for me at times. We grew up in very different environments, and sometimes that clashed. Mostly it was good fun though, i did learn alot from the experience, and they have since gone on to lead very full, ambitious and adventurous lives and i wish them well with their endeavours.

I used to also be friends with Cathy who lived in the street behind our house, we'd ride our bikes up and down the street, ( i remember riding across swanston street and riding back, trying not to get hit by cars, or get caught by an adult lol, this was back in the day when helmets weren't compulsory and spokey dokey's had just been released!) or i'd talk to a Michelle my next door neighbour over the fence, via a ladder my gran put up.

well that was a fond memory lane journey

next --> part two - high school

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