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| Can someone help me? |
I have a serious issue on my mind. For the past three days I've been sitting home watching South of Nowhere on my laptop. For anyone that doesn't know, that's a show that just finished its last season on the N. The show was about a girl and her family that moved to LA from Ohio. In her transtion she befriended a girl who she discovered sh had sexual feelings for. Throughout the whole show, after discovering she liked girls she tried to get the acceptance of her family, while loving her best friend. Anyway the two girls live happily ever after.
I guess what I am trying to get to is my story. After watching the show, all the feelings I have for girls came rushing right back to me. I see how much the girls on th show love each other, and I can't help the tingle in my stomach, "Aww they're so cute, Aww they really love each other, Aww they're both sexy, Aww look at that kiss, Aww i wanna kiss her too."
When I was a sophomore in HS I started hanging with the Girls' Softball team. About half of them on the team were lesbians, and some of them were still unsure and in denial. I didnt look at them different becuase they liked the same sex, we were friends. One afternoon one of my friends and her girlfriend were arguing out side, I couldnt help but keeping looking at her girlfriend because she was so pretty. when the two of them kissed I wished that wasnt my friend's girl. I saw when my friend went running down the street after her girl, and i wanted it. it was love and i wanted it. I guess that when i started having feelings for girls. In my junior year another one of my friends had a girlfriend. We were all cutting class and her girlfriend was drunk. In her drunkiness she was kissing and hugging all me. This wasnt wrong to me, I liked it, but out of respect or my friend I pushed her off. I loved hanging out with them especially when leslie was drunk. My friends sensed that I was having feelings for girls and they teased me but i denied it.
in mediation class there was this girl named rosemary, i never noticed it but i was flirting with her. every morning i waited in anticipation for her to come to class, when she did, my heart skipped a beat. I teased her, hit her, hid her bookbag. She was the only reason I wanted to be n that class I loved seeing her. One day i came out and asked my friend jatna (leslie's gf) if rosemary was gay, and jatna instantly knew i liked her. she hooked me and rosemary up.
What i really trying to ask advice for is am I a lesbian? When Im home I have sex with my ex boyfriend and love it when guys hit on me. i just dont call them back because i feel like he's a stranger i just met him. I love seeing cute guys on tv. relationship wise, I feel as though i could find better love with a girl. I wanna kiss her, I wanna buy her things, I wanna call her at night, I want her to get jealous. I want guys to do the same to me but right now i feel like i just look at a guy when i wanna have sex. I've had relationships with girls and guys. One of my friends in college said she instantly could tell i was into girls and i denied it. Funny, because i have a crush on her right now and i'd rather be in a relationship with a girl. What do you think? I am a lesbian, bi-sexual, bi- curious?
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Posted by vbkid17 on 2009-01-04 23:02:55 | Rating: | Views: 58
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