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Ok, I understand my dad is upset and all but that DOES NOT give him the rite to say whatever he would like about my mom's b/f to me and my 16yr old brother. I don't mind being there for my dad and all but there are somethings that he just shouldn't say to me. I'm not a therapist nor have any desire to be one anymore. And plus, i'm his daughter. There are just some things that should not be said to me no matter how upset you are. I feel very trapped because I try so hard to apease both my parents and in doing so I'm going to hurt one or the other. I don't care what you have been told, done research on, or thought about in dealing with divorce. None of it can possibly compare to what it really feels like when your the person caught in the middle. I love my parents to death. I really do. They are my world. But when I'm being torn to keep them both happy at the expense of another it kinda kills me a little on the inside. I want to make mom happy and in doing so it hurts my dad.And by donig what my dad wants to make him happy it hurts my mom.... So i'm pretty much fucked either way. So i figure it I keep mom happy and just not tell dad then every one gets what they want. But it stil fucking sucks. I feel like i have to walk on eggshells in my own house just for the fear that I may upset my dad and get him in a fuck for weeks on end. I know he doesn't believe in telling any one espically a stranger his problems but I think he really ought to try. it may actually help him out some besides venting and cursing to his kids. It's not our place to hear what he has to say about my mom's b/f. She at least never says anything bad about my dad and NEVER once pressured me to meet her b/f. I suggested it on my own and that's the only reason I did. it was nothing to do with her asking me.
ok i feel a litle better now. if only my dad could quit being so bitter. I know its hard but if he doesn't let the bitterness go its going to consume him. I'm not going to be here when it does. Hopefully I'll be moving out soon and I don't think that is going to come soon enough for me.
g'night
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Posted by unrealangel on 2008-01-06 00:51:53 | Rating: | Views: 98
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It aint gonna be easy kidm your dad is dealing with his Thoughts about your Mom and still maintaing a life for you and your brother, I agree it would be cool if you could get him to talk to someone and maybe in time he will, just don't give up ...he's the one that stayed with you both..
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Posted by Wayne
on 2008-01-06 09:12:48
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Wayne is right honey, but obviously you need some advice about what you need to say to your Dad before your relationship gets hurt, i think you have no choice to sit down with him and tell him how you feel, tell him he will end up pushing you away, and causing even more of a family rift, its obviously hard for him, but it is his parental responsability to take care of you emotionally as well as physically, what he is doing is wrong, if he doesn't listen to you or gets moody then you will have to tell your mum what is going on, tell him you love him, but its not your fault that your mum has left, and that it is inapropriate for him to talk about your mums bf to you in that way, if none of that works, then maybe you should talk to your doctor or teacher, maybe get some counceling yourself to help you get through this until you move out, i know it is hard to talk to your parents about an issue like this especially when they are hurting, but if you don't you may lose your relationship with your Dad, and you obviously love him very much and don't want to lose him.
i hope you work things out with him, good luck and take care xxx
p.s, do you have a snake? awwww i want one x
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Posted by missmarie
on 2008-01-06 17:03:50
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I think you are right your dad needs an outlet that doesnt involve you or your brother. Its possible that your dad doent realise the damage he is doing to you by his actions, he may be too close and caught up in his own turmoil to see clearly. I do not want to be harsh on your dad he is hurting as well but he should not be using he children in this way.
I agree with missmarie you should try and talk to him tell him that you could never choose between him and your mum and he should not expect you to do so, you would not expect him to choose between his children, it is the same principle. Explain to him that you love them both and you know that he has been hurt by your mum and that he will not loose you, (I suspect he is afraid of loosing his children as well, fear can make people act in a way they would not normally do).
I hope this helps you. I have recently seperated and have 3 children reading your blog has given me an insight into how they may be feeling and how much they need both of their parents show that we love them and has made me more determined to keep them out of any dispute we may have..... Thank you
take care and im sure you and your dad can work things out
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Posted by lostandalone
on 2008-01-07 18:52:40
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