it seems to be a never ending battle between the two of us. We'll go six months without fighting and then for two months straight its nothing but arguments and bickering.... then I finally get fed up with it and tell him that we need to stop... but we never really talk about anything. Like we kinda do but at the same time we don't. I know that makes no sense whatsoever but to me it does... We love each other very much and we both know that we don't want to be with anyone else.... He's my soulmate ya know? But I wonder why we fight so much. I know it can't possibly be all me but hell it may be. I get in these funks where I'm not happy with anyone or anything that is going on and it will typically last a week to two weeks... Sometimes longer but rarely... I wish i could put into words what it feels like to feel the way I do but even in my moments of sheer anger and depression I can never find the words to explain what is really going on.... The words can not describe what is running through my mind. I wish I could... maybe then I could figure out what's going on... He tells me he thinks I'm slightly bipolar... It does run in the family.. and at times I think that could be the case... I have major mood swings over NOTHING and it bothers me so bad... I thought it was PMDD at first cause for a while that was only time I had the mood swings was that time of the month.. Then and now they are constant but worse during that time of the month... He told me he was going to hide from me if I didn't switch BC's haha. I was on the patch forever and I even noticed that as months progressed that I would get worse and worse so I switched to something that is supposed to help that. But anywho....
random thought, you know that song "Had a bad day again" by Fuel??? that's my theme song... it fits me very well I think.... No one seems to understand when I'm just having an off day....
This man I am with is my world!!! I believe in soul mates and true love and everything that involves and this guy is my soulmate...I know we fight like cats and dogs but we know we love one another with all our hearts.... It just bothers us both that we fight the way we do. We can't figure out what causes us to do that... I'm almost postive that its me... :(.... Just sometimes things get to me and I act out before I think about what's going to happen afterwards and how it might affect other people when I do so.... I tend to shine my ass when he is playing and embarassing him at him shows and in doing so getting him in trouble... I don't try to... It just happens.... I dunno... I'm a fucking basketcase... I tried therapy and that didn't work... I haven't tried meds mainly because I haven't been to a certified shrink... but sometimes I wonder if even that would help... I love him.. I know I do... He means everything and more to me.... I truly see myself marrying this man and having kids and having a future with him... I gues nothing else for tonight... I'm kinda toasty... llove you guys