Dunno where to start spilling stuff.
It just feels like everythings a stupid debate in my head...so, here goes the babbling
im tired, mentally, emotionally, physically.
im sick of doubting if natalies a good friend or not, because the friends before i moved never acted like her, shes just so..materialistic. selfish, in a way. i get sick of it, the whole dramaqueen act "i hate my life" and "omg i love justin bieber!".. -.-
and i feel so unappreciated, and like im not good enough, shes going through some family shit...mom divorced for the 2nd time, and the dude took the car, so i basically drive her everywhere, my parents arent too happy about that (they drive, not me).
i kinda knew it was coming, The Divorce.
my opinion: her mom doesnt put her kids first and is kinda fucked in the head. you cant feel the love at her house, which is one of the reasons i hate going there, plus theres nothing to do.
which brings us to "you never wanna hang out!" she says. and its true, i dont.
im SICK OF IT.
i neverrrr felt this way with my old friends, and i dont with new ones
mom told me that she sees her taking me for granted, and if she was a real friend, i wouldnt feel this way (not wanting to hang etc.)
and i just cant be my best around her, or whatever i want. because that involves music and she has something against the type of music i listen to. and shes obsessed with god....

we're like polar opposites with something invisible holding us together.
wow, what kind of person complains that much about their "best friend" ?
i feel shitty now
not just about that.

other issues:
-Connor: feel like we're drifting apart
-dont believe me, but im 100% serious when i say this: you know the gangs Bloods and Crips? well i have a friend in alaska, whos in the Blood gang. hes 15. hes in love with me and im not into him like that but i pretend to be, lame internet love that makes me feel like crap. yay. met him on runescape. and he got shot in the shoulder+foot, in hospital right now.
-homesickness/thinking about december when i see everyone again


yeah, finish later
bye