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see previous blog to understand. its 7.24 am i managed to get to work , i tried to call a emergency contact to cover for atleast a hour as im so tired and anxiety level 8-9, no luck , but if i think about it i knew it would be a no go . struggled badley to get to work pains in arms and chest and a lump in my throat. perhaps cancer????? . as well as dealing with sore tired eyes. walks into office to be greeted by a complaint customer on the phone. i can not deal with this right now . but the jumped up fucking idiot wanted a argument wanted me to beg to say sorry on behalf of the company . i just lost it and told him to fuck off . while trying to see what incident he was talking about the main server wouldnt turn on. i had no idea what was wrong and the phones was lighing up . the idiot at the other office never had keys to open up . anxiety level was a 9 . me kneeling on floor looking at server taking sips of water, my shirt off. i changed power lead in server that seemed to have fixed it . return to my pc station to see a norton message blah blah blah blah and network disconneted . run a scan and it cleared the infection . i wish i was a computer a 5 minute scan and all is well. lump in throat is still there. each time i take a sip of water it does not taste like water . but this could be the mouth wash where i used to much .. perhaps ? i will ring doctors as soon as there open . not sure im up to seeing this phycologist today . but if i dont go i will be out of the system any help i MIGHT get will be wasted and the system takes ages to re join. anxiety back down to 6-7 got the vibe and the wobbling head . Postive thinking = i didnt call a amberlance . and i didnt have afull blown panic attack no matter all that stress. due for a massage after the phycologist as a treat so maybee i should go ... who knows see how im feeling . more positive thinking , is today its going to be great get to speak to someone for ages and thats always good .
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Posted by uneducated on 2007-10-11 00:18:22 | Rating: | Views: 69
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It's not easy seeing a new therapist, trying to work them out as much they're trying to work you out. It's a high stress situation but you're doing well :) When you get home, hopefully you can have a few peaceful hours of sleep.
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Posted by Zathyn
on 2007-10-11 03:34:27
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hiya zathyn . thanks for the words muh friend
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Posted by uneducated
on 2007-10-11 05:14:27
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