Thoughts.com Blogs - 09-May-2008 Who am I?

Who am I? Who do you think I am? You don't know me? I don't know myself either. But I know that there is someone who knew me beforwe I was formed in my mother's womb.

I always seek attention because I lack of it. I've felt worthless, unimportant, unloved, hated by this world. I always feel alone.. No one seemed to care for me and listen to me. I have many words left unspoken, thoughts left unopened. I started to rebel against everyone, in that way, I got pleasures in life. I've been so mean, been so wicked. I loved the feeling of doing bad things and hurting those people who told me that they cared. I loved it when I see people cry and suffer because of me. But, as I evaluated myself, above anyone else, I am the one who was hurt suffered a lot. My heart was totally broken and as the days passed by, my heart was already numb. I don't care if everybody's being hurt nor if I am being hurt. I wanna end up my life, end up this damn life..

Until the moment came when I finally woke up in that nightmare and realized how dumb I have become. I've been such a fool believing that no one cared for me, that no one loved me, but the truth is, someone out there loved me and cared for me even before I knew Him.. No other than Jesus Christ. He bacame my very best friend.

Since I accepted Jesus as my friend, everything has changed... The change was not gradual.. It was a step by step procedure. Up to now, I'm still on the process of change. People thought that I was already changed, but tell them, I'm not! I still undergo God's way of purification.

Being changed doesn't mean being perfect. Ever since Adam and Eve sinned, nobody's called perfect. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We have all flaws in life during in the past or even up to now.

I have a heart that wants to glorify God alone but people kept on pulling me down. They always judge me by what they see, but tell them again, no one can ever judge me except God because He sees the real me.

As I've said, I'm still on the process of change. I still commit a lot of mistakes and do bad things whenever I want.. But now, I'm aware that God is telling me I should not do the things I knew wrong. Little by little, God is scraping those impurities in me and it really hurts.. And even though it hurts, I know that in the end, I'll be a better person.

"Therefore, if anyone is Christ, he is a new creation
the old has gone, the new has come!"
-2 Corinthians 5:17