| View Blog
|
|
|
|
So, the pain of loss is enormous. I miss my boy from the very bottom of my heart.
In and of itself, it is unfair and cruel that Timmy had to die, but the fact that he lived through so much trauma and illness in his short little life, is what really gets me. In a perfect world, kittens (all animals) are born into and raised in a home where they are wanted, loved and cared for. This is certainly an imperfect world, and just by the nature of the business of animal rescue, those that come into our foster homes come with the knowledge that they weren’t wanted. I can only hope that I communicated to Timmy every day how much he was loved and wanted in my home.
So for now, as a measure of healing for me, and to enrich your life just a little, I want to introduce you to Tiny Timmy, a.k.a, Timmy, Tim-Tim, my sweet boy and his version of what we called “Timmy Love”.
I received a call from Larry of Little Orphan Angels the first of November 2007 asking if I would take a little 3 month old kitten who was waiting for surgery to amputate his back right leg. He had most likely been severely injured and promptly dumped at the Watauga shelter. It was a little crowded at my house, I already had 2 LOA fosters (along with my own zoo), but Larry said Timmy would probably go to a "quieter" home for recuperation after surgery, so I would have him 2 or 3 days, maybe a week at most until the vet could schedule surgery. Sure, I could do that. So Timmy came to my home and stayed separate from all the others for those few days - it was important he remained healthy for the upcoming surgery, and I was cautious about him playing with everyone (dogs and cats) and possibly injuring his leg further.
I picked Timmy up from Creekside Vet on November 1 and he was with me until the 8th, when I returned him for surgery. I had a week to fall in love, and I fell hard. Well, I fell hard beginning the second day - Timmy drew blood on day one. I learned very quickly not to let him "love bite" me. Ouch! ha! We spent as much time with him as possible, and by the time I took him to the vet for surgery, I was anxious to have him back home and told Larry I'd like to foster him afterwards. Surgery went well and Timmy was back home in two days. He healed rapidly, learned to walk, balance, eventually to run and climb all the way to the top of the cat tree. He was introduced to other foster kittens, all 3 of my dogs, the parrots and hamster. When he felt well, he played with abandon and had “grooming” parties with Bella (my orange tabby kitten) and any other fosters I had at the time. He eventually learned to love laying under the Christmas tree in his bed and cuddle with Bella. He was such a laid back little boy with good manners and got along with everyone.
Timmy went to adoption day a couple of times in late November, but I was secretly glad when he wasn’t adopted and I brought him back home each time. In December, he caught ringworm with Ceclia (foster Siamese), then diarrhea with Obie (another foster Siamese), then a very bad upper respiratory infection at Christmas. He was at the vet for all these things and it seems like I gave Timmy medicine all his life, which he hated! But I always followed the meds with his favorite treats, which he loved. The first week in January he began running high spikey fevers and again was at the vet several times. He went through a battery of tests and for a couple of weeks, baffled the doctors. Luckily, he didn't have to spend many nights at the clinic - I was able to bring him back and forth and he slept at home most of the time.
Then the diagnosis came and it was tragic. FIP - I'm still learning about it, but it is fatal and excruciating if not diagnosed quickly. I don't want to spend a lot of time here describing the disease, but Timmy had the fast moving version. So the decision had to be made, and swiftly before his condition worsened. Knowing Larry & Beth and the lengths they go to to save a kitten or cat that is injured or ill, I knew when Larry told me there was no hope, there really was no hope at all. Selfishly, I wanted to take him home for one more weekend. He acted like he always had - he was still eating/drinking some and all the stuff he should be doing. While trying to rationalize my selfishness against letting him go before he was hurting badly, Larry gently reminded me that if they are hurting, we've let them get too far. I knew that in my heart, but didn't want to hear it. So my daughter and I loved on him there in the vet's office and I held him after Dr. Z gave him something to make him relax and go to sleep. So he went to sleep in my arms with me whispering how much we loved him and woke up feeling whole, well and with 4 legs! I prayed that his little soul would find its way to my grandparents and my dad. I hope it works that way.
Timmy was a sweet, sweet, affectionate kitten. He was about six months old when he died and he loved me every day of his life. He loved everyone in my family and appreciated all the chin and ear scratches and snuggling that everyone stopped to give him. No one in my house could pass Timmy by without stopping to love on him. He just soaked it up and smiled. But he LOVED me, talked to me every time I would pass by his chair when he napped and stopped to whisper to him how much I loved him. He was the only foster I've had that has slept with me - he was so sick for so long with different illnesses, I wanted him close by to check on through the night.
Thus my initiation to “Timmy Love”. When it was bed time, everyone (dogs & Timmy) knew the routine and would wait on me to get in bed. Timmy would run up the little stairs that were beside my bed for him and get in his spot. If I wasn't fast enough as I moved about getting things ready for bed, he would give one short little "meow" - "hurry up, mom". I would finally lay down and Timmy would squirm around waiting on me to be still and then began the nightly ritual I called "Timmy Love". He would launch into a full 10-15 minutes of rubbing on my neck and face purring LOUDLY, and putting his little paws on my face, rubbing his face on mine before he would curl up either in the crook of my arm, ON me, or right next to my neck and drape himself across my throat (yes, it was very (un)comfortable! but I loved every minute of it and participated by rubbing his ears, kissing his face and scratching the good spots until he got his fill of Timmy Love). Each time I would wake at night and put my hand on him to check his level of fever he would awaken and give me the short "meow" as if to say - yep, I'm here mom, and the abbreviated version of Timmy Love would ensue all over again! It brings such a smile to my face as I write this remembering how loving he was.
I hope I have painted such a picture so that each of you feels like you’ve gotten to know Timmy just a little bit. For those of you, like me, that are in animal rescue - please accept Timmy's and my thanks for all you do. I almost didn't go in and work at adoption day this past Saturday - after all, it had been only a few hours since I had lost Timmy and I had no foster there to be adopted. But then I realized there is no better way to honor this little guy and his short, sweet life than to continue what we do - to rescue, foster, love and to have our hearts broken just a little each time one of them leaves us.
|
|
Posted by txsweet on 2008-01-22 10:35:43 | Rating: | Views: 156
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
Awe...your post touched me deeply.
We had to have my mums dog put to sleep in December of 2001, just six months after my dad had passed away.
It's an agonising choice to make, but sometimes you really have to be cruel to be kind and it is selfish to want to keep them alive for our sakes.
My mum couldn't go in there, her emotions were just too raw, so I had to. The worst thing was, she appeared to be fine, but she had a tumor in her stomach, she was riddled with it and there was nothing in her future but pain and misery.
I know I will never forget holding her in my arms as she slipped away, it broke my heart.
I have rescue dogs myself now and they are the only type I would ever have.
Its hard for anyone who doesn't have pets to understand the impact they have on your life, I think its because they love you unconditionally and rarely do people do that.
Keep up your good work, I think its just wonderful. xxx
|
|
Posted by chebtastic1
on 2008-01-22 11:22:11
|
|
|
|
|
aww, the love of timmy. How precious that story is...Thank you for sharing little Timmy with me....I have 5 cats and 2 dogs....Kinda like a farm here too........Best wishes for the next "timmy" you encounter...God bless you and yours for your heart for animals...
|
|
Posted by Hollis
on 2008-01-22 13:15:39
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
