I promised myself I wouldn't let him see me cry. It was the least I could do for him. He was about to be sent off to a combat zone and the last thing he needed was to have to console his weak girlfriend, as he was about to get on that bus.

We parked the car and got off. As we walked toward the other Marines waiting to get in formation, I started to feel the lump in my throat. I tried to stay focused, remembering my promise to myself. It was more of an unspoken promise to him. I didn't want to make him feel bad and I didn't want to make it any harder on him than it already was.

We reached the group of other wives, girlfriends, and families waiting to say goodbye to their loved ones.  I stood there and he kissed my forehead. He said, "I'll be back to say goodbye, right after formation."

The time had come and he was about to get on the bus. He came over and gave me a long, tight hug. My eyes started to water, so I held onto him even tighter, with my face buried in his shoulder. I just held on until the tears went away. When I regained my strength, I lifted my head and kissed him on the cheek. He put his hands on my face and gave me the sweetest kiss on the lips. Was it enough to last the 7 months that he would be gone? I hope so. I whispered in his ear, "I love you. Stay safe." He said he loved me too and with that, he was on his way.

I watched as the buses were loaded with these hundreds of brave young men. I closed my eyes and said a prayer, asking God to keep him and his brothers safe.

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. To say goodbye to the person I loved the most, not knowing if he would return to me dead or alive. How I managed not to break down in uncontrollable tears is beyond me. I'm just glad I kept my promise and I didn't let him see me cry. He needed to know that I was strong and capable of handling the deployment and whatever obstacles it would bring.

After the buses left, I still didn't cry. I got in my car and drove down the hill, made a right at the stop light, and made my way down the long road exiting the base. I made the five hour drive back home without shedding a single tear. I didn't know when it would hit me, but I was sure that it would.

That was four years ago on my husband's last deployment. It's been a little over three years since his return from that deployment and he has been on non-deployable status since then. There are more deployments to come in the near future, and remembering this moment in time helps to remind me that this is possible. I am strong for him and I can handle it. Together, we can handle it.