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Okay. I have a 2 yr. old daughter who is not yet potty trained. We had been using pull-ups, although I had always said I wouldn't use those "glorified diapers" because to most toddlers, at least mine, it's like....".hey, Im not wet. I'm comfy. I don't want to go sit on that potty chair. I want to watch more of the Wiggles." But.....
Point 1: Never say "never" because 9 times out of 10 (Okay, I haven't really taken a survey, I'm just pulling numbers out of thin air here. Humor me.), you will end up doing what you declared you were "never" going to do.
Anyway, getting back to my story, I have started putting her in training underwear. Sometimes we use the plastic pants, sometimes we don't because we have more underwear than plastic pants. So I've had puddles around my living room, as you can imagine. Rather than take up a newspaper subscription, I've decided that I wanted a new couch anyway since mine is 10 yrs. old and while I'm at it, new carpet would be good too.
Bare with me, I'm getting to my point eventually.
I bought a pack of M & M's so that I could reward her with one whenever the "event" finally occurs. Today was the day! She finally put her pee-pee in the potty. Of course, then she turned around and wanted to play in it. Not what I was expecting. I guess in her mind her pee-pee was such a big deal to me that I wanted to catch it in a bowl, it must be something special.
Point: We often put value on things just because other people do.
That wasn't my main point. Keep reading.
Needless to say, I couldn't immediately give her the M&M. But we quickly washed her hands and then she was delighted to get an M&M. She asked for more, but I told her that they were just for when she put something in the potty, then turned her attention to lunch. The next time she didn't make it to the potty. She did want to sit on it after she had peed in her underwear. Then she asked me for her M&M. It broke my heart to tell her "no" because there is a part of me that feels that effots should be rewarded too, but I know that if I do that, we probably won't be as successful. Not in this case anyway.So I told her that I was proud of her for trying and next time she would put it in the potty.
But I got to thinking: As kids, everybody makes such a big deal out of us when we do stuff they like. It is like, if we sing a song or get a 100 on a paper at school or pee-pee on the potty, it is some super great thing we have done. It makes us worthy of praise and treats, sometimes even M&M's.
And it clicked. That is why I often feel the way I do. I think I do fairly good most of the time, but I never get the praise or attention I am looking for. WHERE'S MY M&M?
Point: (see, I told you it was coming) Sometimes we have to buy our own dang M&M's!!!!
As for my little girl and her potty training, we will see how the M&M thing goes and I will tell her "you'll do it next time" when she misses. Then when she is potty-trained and wearing those Disney Princess and Dora panties that she thinks are so cute, I will say, "Doesn't it make you feel like such a big girl to use your potty." putting the responsibility for praise and approval on herself and letting her know that .......
Point: We do things because they are the right thing for us to do and what we choose to do. Not because of what anyone else thinks.
Now, right now my little girl thinks pull-ups are the way to go. She asked me to put her pull-up on when I was getting her a fresh pair of training pants. But of course, that is why children have parents. So that when they are unable to make the right decisions about the important things, we help them. I mean, you really don't want your child going to pre-school in a pull-up. Trust me. I used to teach pre-school. Not good.
We build our children's self-esteem by letting them be themselves and not criticizing them for it. Wish I had known this 17 years ago when my son came into this world. He wants to be a rock star. I am going to buy tickets to his concerts, even if I have to wear ear-plugs.Have to make up for lost time. And when my little girl starts wanting to choose her outfits and picks a "snazzy" outfit to wear to the grocery store, I think maybe I should let her. Who does it hurt? (I hear this is quite a common thing for little girls to want to do.)
Point: People who doubt themselves do this because no one ever believed in them.
It is hard, but I am going to retrain my brain. I think it is time we all had some M&M's.
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Posted by tumblingafter on 2007-08-27 13:37:56 | Rating: | Views: 171
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Keep up the writing...I SO enjoy reading your entries! :)
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Posted by Alice
on 2007-08-28 12:31:35
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Thank you so much!
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Posted by tumblingafter
on 2007-08-28 13:28:15
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hehe...ive upgraded myself from m&m's to a nice lcd tv and a car :) M&m's still sound yummy though....that line made me chuckle
"wheres my m&m's"
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Posted by heizo
on 2007-08-28 14:13:41
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Thanks! I only managed to upgrade to cheesecake.
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Posted by tumblingafter
on 2007-08-29 12:18:16
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Mmmm...what I would give for cheesecake right now...
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Posted by heizo
on 2007-08-29 13:36:34
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Wow, Id rather read your entries than a good book anyday. By the way, this was soo cute.
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Posted by Blake11
on 2008-02-01 00:31:42
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