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she is beautiful

so i met this girl becca. at first i was like oh she is just cute. we have been hanging out alot lately. regardless of my mood swings she has been awesome. we get closer and her touch is like none other. she wants to take it slow, although we both struggle with this im excited to see what comes of it. a few days ago we sat and just talked about everything and she looked into my eyes and just smiled. it was one of those looks that gives you butterflies in your stomache. she gave me a kiss on my neck and i reciprocated. becca is very up front with how she feels. she has been able to voice her fears of a possible relationship and how our personal lives will affect it. tonight we had lunch with my bro and sis. becca is awesome with my brother. he has cerebral palsy , and appears to be just deaf. she sat the other day for a couple hours and just chatted with him and gave him attention. no one ever really does that. so today she met my sister and cracked jokes like she has been apart of the family for years. after we came to my house and talked some more ... we talk alot, sometimes i just talk way to much. we layed and stared at each other. she hasnt been feeling 100 % so i gave her a massage. as slow as we are going we couldnt help ourselves .. it went a bit further and i strangely dont regret it. it was hot it was sensual it was just amazing. after i cooked dinner for us while she wrote a paper for school with my bro. she is soo sweet she proof read my brothers paper and just shot the shit with him. we watched lost then she massaged me since im in pain from my eventful work days. her touch is again amazing very soft very soothing. she does this thing where she just stares into my eyes with this grin. i fall for it so quickly the moment she stares i just submit ... its crazy. we cuddled and chatted for a bit after. i love the way she lets me hold her. how she is not afraid to be close and say nothing without that awkward feeling of silence. my goal is to try and slow it down. we are going to the gay bar tomorrow with some friends and she is staying over, im soo excited. im not going to sleep with her tomorrow though, i will rub her back kiss her but i dont want her to think i want her for just sex. its great sex but i like her for everything else. she treats me with respect. we will see what happens.