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Maybe I'm a little harsh, I just think suicide is the most selfish act I could ever imagine.

One of my best friends (Monte) had a roommate (Bob) and he was found dead on Monday evening.
We went out on the boat and when we got back a friend of ours (Judy) called and said she had just found Bob. We had been wondering where he was because he was not returning calls, it was normal for him to disappear for a few days at a time but not 5 days and no return calls.

Thursday Bob asked Judy if he could have the key to her house that was for rent/sale he said he met someone and he thought they would like it, so she gave him the key and never thought much more about it.
Monday she had a client of her own and she went to meet them over there and she arrived first so that she could turn on lights and open the house up and when she went in the garage his car was backed in and he was laying next to it. She freaked out and just ran into the house and called Monte, I don't know why she didn't call 911 BUT she called Monte, he ran over there and checked it out and said he had been dead for some time.

In the last few months I have been wondering and asking "who's Bob?" that question kept coming up and it was real obvious when we were all standing there and Bob is dead in the garage and we have no idea who to call and tell Bob was dead. It hit me really hard at that moment that none of us really knew who Bob was. Bob was a really nice man, good looking, great cook, non drinker that was just enjoying life (so we thought) no one knew he was so sad and empty that he was a man that was planning on ending his life. Bob never talked about his past, I was disturbed about that for a long time and kept questioning Monte as to why he knew nothing about Bob's history, if I had a man living in my house for the past 2 years I would know the name of his first pet, that's just the way I am, I guess men are different. My husband was good friends with Bob as well and knew nothing about him. They use to go fishing together alot. What do men talk about? I don't get it.

At first the police were treating it as a crime scene and then they said everyone could leave and they would be i touch. I was still going what do we do? who do we call and Monte says "here I got this number out of Bobs wallet" he handed me a number written on a sticky note and it said Janet. I came home and called the number and the women called me back and I told her Bob was dead and she said we were expecting this call. She went on to tell me that she got a letter from him 2 weeks ago and he said it was just time to say good-bye and he was gonna check out. They had no idea where he was, they had never heard of Monte and knew nothing of Cape Coral. Strange.
Bobs family was notified and they called me and said they had hired a private investigator to find him before he ended his life. They reported him as missing and they didn't come up with anything at all on him.
Bobs family said he was a high roller all his life and he had run out of money and he could not stand to be defeated. I cant help but to wonder, did Bob put the whole value of who he was on how much money he had in his wallet? I'm so sad to think about this.

We have been putting some things together that were signs that he was checking out but it was not real obvious until you are looking back.
Last Friday night my husband and a few others including Bob went night fishing and everything was real quite on the boat, they were looking at the bright stars in the sky and Bob starts in real loud (not like him) how do you know if you are going to heaven or hell? where are you going? he asked the rest of the guys and they all said heaven and Bob kinda started arguing a bit (out of character) he was saying how do you know that? anyway my husband found that odd.
When they got home they were packing up all the gear and Bob had real nice fishing stuff and he said "I'll be back for it, keep it here, it's in good hands" then we found out he just gave the other friend Judy his flat screen TV and said I'll be back for it, it's in good hands. So now looking back we can see, he was getting rid of stuff. How sad. Maybe he was reaching out and no one saw it.

I read a blog this morning, and the question was what would you do if you only had a week left? I'm still thinking about what I would do, but I am looking at what Bob did and it was nothing really. He knew he was ending his life and he really didn't do nothing. I cant imagine what could have been so bad.
Good-bye Bob, we will miss you!
If you could have only reached out, we were all there for you.