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I dont have any regrets in life except for not keeping a journal!
Let me bring you up to speed here.
I had a break-thru about 6 months ago and realized I needed to get back to creating my life and stop letting it happen. I am usually pretty good at that but I seem to have a problem with the balance of my life.
I get all caught up in one area and I realize suddenly that the others areas are lacking. It is like spinning plates, it always keeps me jumping instead of flowing. This realization alone is making a huge difference in my life. Leadership is helping me with that already.
I have already after just a few days had so many break thrus but for some reason they are not like I thought they would be. They are not painful they have been so calming. I am taking a look at myself inside and out, up close for the first time at the same time. WOW
o.k. so my biggest challenge like I said has been the boys. When I had my break-thru a while back I realized I needed to stop being an enabler to them. I always bitch at them to grow up and then I do everything for them. How can you grow up if you dont have to do anything for yourself?
Last night I was with Trevor (my 18 year old) and we went to the best buy and got a brain game and the machine to play it on and I bought the warranty to go with it and I had the paperwork and I asked his girlfriend if she could find a safe place for it and hold on to it. Trevor said I can hold it myself. I caught myself at the same time he caught me being an enabler (remember he is taking the leadership with me). I was saying to him you loose everything. He said I can do it myself, this is how you enable me, you and Brittney (his girlfriend) both do everything for me. I can do it myself. I was so proud of him for that because before he would have let us do it for him once again, even require us to do it for him. So as I think I am being a good Mom all these years by doing so much for my children I have been making them dependent on me. I'm so happy that I am seeing this now instead of 20,30,40 years from now. If only I would have gotten it so much sooner like before they were born things would have been so much different. Like I said tho, no regrets because all the lessons I have learned have been for a reason. I believe that reason was to help me find my purpose in life.
All my childhood years is all I wanted to do was be a mommy and then so many times I would wonder how can I be a success in so many areas of my life and lack on what it is that I wanted to do the most. I didnt ever think I was a bad mom. I did all of the right things that a mom should do far as what I felt was right. I was always there for them, made sure they didnt spend there days with a babysitter, kissed their boo boos, hugged them often, kissed them goodnight, tell them I loved them all the time, several times a day at the least, showed them a great extended family life, blah blah blah. the point I missed was to let them do things for themselves. I didnt give them chores, well I did but I didnt make them do them. Tim (daddy) or I would do it and then complain that they never did anything, well Hello!!!!!!!!!!
Looking back I can now hear them as very small children saying "I do it" "I do it myself Mommy" I didnt hear it, yes I did, I just didnt GET IT. I am thinking back right now at how often I hear small children say that to their parents and now I'm gonna have a hard time not saying something to even complete strangers when I hear their children say that.
I use to always ask why is it that it seems really bad parents and I'm talking really bad parents that dont give a shit about the children at all have some of the best kids. Now I got it. They have always had to do things on their own. I now see that. That does not mean those kids are healthy individuals by any stretch of the imagination. The one thing I do know is my kids are actually loving kind and compassionate everything else they can still be taught. It's not to late for that. See like I said NO REGRETS
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Posted by trevorjohn on 2007-10-23 07:18:34 | Rating: | Views: 82
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I just read the first sentence. I think it's good to keep a journal. My blog is my first one ever. But it's more than a journal now.
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Posted by SubTomato
on 2007-10-23 07:21:04
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U should not regret your parenting. I have 3 kids, the oldest I coddle (still do despite my best efforts) the middle we shower with affection, but let her do stuff on her own when asked) and the youngest, well, she climbs on tables and goes down the slide! You did the best u knew how, ur only crime was loving them too much. i know how you feel, I tend to do things for my kids too, I still clean my 11 year olds bedroom!
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-10-23 07:24:06
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