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| untitled unfinished story
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for me its the moment before a kiss, the moment before the rain, the moment before we met. right there in that second before, when all life will change ,when nothing will ever be as it was, that's the best part for me
( 1 )
"So where do we go from here?" she asked as the rain pounded on the bus stops roof.
"We don't, least that's the way I see it" he said, sharply, his clipped tones and southern accent marking his disdain.
"you know I never wanted this, I never meant to fall in love with you" she cried pain written into her words
"well you shouldn't have came to me, we should have left it where it laid, it was fine till you came back" he looked away, knowing her tears would make his anger subside, and right now he needed his anger to do this
"Damn it Tony I didn't know where else to go, he would have killed me, and you said as always"
"That was kid stuff woman, we've grown to old for that. and you married him, I'll tend this Molly ,but you're getting on that bus, and I don't want to see you here anymore" and he walked out into the rain.
As the bus rounded the corner she watched him drawing his rain coat collar up to hide his face. She watched as he disappeared in the deluge and slowly gathered her bag and boarded the bus, not sure what would happen but scared she'd hurt him more tonight than ever she thought a man could hurt.
__________________________________________________________ _____________
As the bus pulled out showing a ghostly silhouette with shimmering lights, a car pulls along side Tony and he climbs inside.
"She gone?"the driver asked, through lips tightly holding a barely lit cigar. His red hair cropped short, his gnarled and scarred hands showing the purpose of his work ,or rather the outcome of it.
"Red if she ain't gone, you make her leave" is all that Tony would say as he unbuttoned his coat and got settled.
Red put the big Lincoln in gear and pulled away from the curb, water sloshing as he gained speed. His windshield wipers, no match for the down pour, combined with the steam on the windshield made it impossible to see, but that didn't worry Tony his mind was on tonights events. on how he got here after 7 years of not hearing a thing from the woman who almost killed him.
"So this ain't a freebie you know?" Red finally spoke as an inch log ash fell onto his barrel chest and rolled down to his now going flabby stomach. Red was an armature boxer, but that was ten years ago. These days he made a living as a personal body guard, and some time thug for this crime boss or that. He never let his side work come between him and his best friend since grade school, if Tony needed him, no matter the job, he was there. Of course he still had to pay the rent.
"Is it ever?" Tony replied. "This is personal Red, but I'll pay ya just the same. Did you get the stuff I asked you to bring?" Tony asked
so this is the story I was working on last night. Luckily I had sent it to Molly to read, and she sent it back because I deleted it. It was going to be a story about a Private Eye woh's ex came back after seveen years to tell him that the kid she has was his, and the man she married had hurt the kid real bad. But I lost it
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| Blog Comments
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I'm so glad you posted it!!! I want to know what happens for real tho, I mean you can't leave us all hanging.
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Posted by Katydids_and_daisies
on 2008-07-14 23:03:31
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thanks babe but its lost for now i'm affraid. Bet they dont comment me Molly! I got five on it.
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Posted by tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-07-14 23:15:09
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no one's on butt-munch lol I'm like 5....be patient, if you write it, they will come.
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Posted by Katydids_and_daisies
on 2008-07-14 23:26:42
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Hey Tony, Great start. Loved reading it.
Like Molly, I think you should let it sit for awhile and see if it gets in your head again... then remember hon. to turn of the IM's!! lol :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-14 23:28:41
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gr8 story.............gr8 writin.......
u sure hv talent.............
if u stop talkin doesnt mean ppl wud stop readin u
(but no smiles)
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Posted by thoughtXpress
on 2008-07-15 01:32:15
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Come on tony, finish it!!! I agree, its a great start, and I want to see where it goes. Will come back for the rest...do some brainstorming and get that pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) or whatever :)
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-07-15 04:51:13
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This is a great start Tony, I hope you get back into it!
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Posted by country_girl
on 2008-07-15 11:13:22
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Your very talented tony. I hope the story comes back to you. Just let it simmer on the back burner for awhile...
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Posted by princess__spot
on 2008-07-15 13:01:39
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I hope the rest of it finds you! Good job thus far Tony.
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-07-15 13:19:52
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i am SOOO glad you posted what you had of this. its amazing.
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Posted by monsters_living
on 2008-07-15 15:18:04
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that was awesome. i still have that one story if you want it
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Posted by Angel_Crank
on 2008-07-15 22:46:44
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Oh hell no!!!! After you made me continue Lips Like Morphine, there is no way you are not continuing this. I NEED to read more. You have to finish it. PLEASE!!
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-07-16 11:33:53
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LOL bro, ya should know by now ya cant start a good story like this and not expect us to want more! great write mi amigo.
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Posted by spiritualcoma
on 2008-07-17 16:06:41
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I like it hon, straight to part two now x
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Posted by missmarie
on 2008-07-18 07:30:21
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wot missmarie said... --->
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Posted by tantrictouch
on 2008-07-23 19:33:18
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love that withstands time, long years...hidden behind anger and vengence boiling deep inside him. she knew that from the moment she came back that he would make it right.
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Posted by Katydids_and_daisies
on 2008-07-23 22:20:30
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| Views: 165
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