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to angel wings and thoughtXpress and all of though

Thought I'd grab your attention with the title, but really lets call this.
Thank you friends . Or maybe My morning thus far.

Someone reminded me today of my once favorite saying, my mantra for a time, she told me "love wins". In my attempt (I have recently realized that I am still attempting) to break free of the heartache over losing Tiffanie I made myself get up, I made myself struggle through and I found a good place (maybe not perfect, but it was good) inside me, and it was being here on thoughts, and my friends out there in the world and to some degree it was my writing that got me through all that.
I then found a "heart like mine", broken, yearning, an ability to express emotion. I became infatuated with her, and I do believe I honestly feel in love. It was a torrid affair as many of you know, the back and forth, the smiles the tears. The highs and the lows, and most of you, my friends, my fans and the casual reader gave up watching that.
I woke this morning and opened my thoughts and found that I had 19 comments (thoughtXpress was very bored apparently, but thank you so much for reading me and those wonderful comments......) but one comment, one friend who's watched me fall and rise, and fall again. One friend who's read me even if she didn't like what I had to say, one friend who this morning has moved me to tears touched me deeply by reminding me what I so often would remind others... Love wins.
And it does, so maybe that thing I sought so long and hard, that was always just beyond my reach, that love that I so desperately wanted "her" to give me, maybe it wasn't in her to give, but you know what the love I have still wins. Have you not read the work that came out of us during all that? Did you not see the raw emotion that poured from our souls??? So what!? Maybe I didn't get the girl, and maybe she didn't love me, but love wins. Because it didn't give up, in fact it still is there, I just use my head a bit more these days and it agrees, pain isn't how loves expressed and if she shows her love by hurting herself and the one she loves maybe she doesn't understand love
But (oh lord here it comes....) I digress.....
The point here is angelwings you are a lovely beautiful wonderful person who has reminded me that its okay, that I am strong and that all this was not a waste but it is time to move on (and yes fuckers I know most of my friends have been saying that for awhile, sorry I didn't listen Z and Joe) and thoughtXpress, dear you may never know the full story, just know that two star crossed lovers found something in the Hallowed halls of the house that Ben built, and what ever it was we found will forever have changed our lives.
I intend to be back. I intend to read and write and love and laugh. To cry and fight and defend. I intend to be me again.
I love you all, my friends, my family. Thank you.

Posted by tonyrayhutchison on 2008-07-09 07:58:15 | Rating:

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		Awwww YOURS, Love you too! You have to be the one that makes the decisions, your friends can gently guide you, suggest things, and shove you LOL .. but it's gotta be when you are ready. Can't wait for YOU to be BACK :) HUGS ...
Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-07-09 08:05:40


		We love you too Tony...more than you can ever imagine :) Just wanted to remind you of your own strength. I'm very, very, very touched by this post... We're here to make you stronger :) hugs (and no i didnt mind at all, the opposite, very touched)
Posted by angelwings on 2008-07-09 08:16:59


		Oh and I didnt mean to make you cry!!
Posted by angelwings on 2008-07-09 08:18:30


		Well said! As long as you have loved if even for a moment you win
Posted by DouglasMB on 2008-07-09 12:22:43


		Always here for ya Tony, you know that. No worries about the not listening either, god knows I have had times where I was too in love to listen to my friends. Love does win, Angels is right, just gotta remember it wins in different ways that we sometimes do not recognise. Great post mi amigo, keep on keepin' on!
Posted by spiritualcoma on 2008-07-09 13:25:18


		nice post tony . love does win but no love here just hate depression and fear nothing more but family is different other than that no there isnt so i will apparently never win ...... butim glad u will.
Posted by Black_Angel on 2008-07-09 16:49:05


		Hey Tony... I'm sitting in the wings, waiting should you ever need me hun (well, close by the wings actually, or I'd fall out every time you flap them!). It's painful to watch a friend go through so much but easy is right, we can only do, say so much before it's your turn to hold the talking stick. Always near, tantric xx
Posted by tantrictouch on 2008-07-09 18:11:53


		I'm here also if you need a shoulder. If you need alone time then have that first. When you need to reach out I'm sure you've got many of friends here that see your kind heart. I'm a new one but I am still one of them. I don't like getting into people business. And any good friend feels they have to give advise. They want to catch you before you fall and after. Love wins and hurts. Maybe you were just put in that place to learn some kind of life lesson. That's how I deal with most the hurtful stuff, just try to chalk it up to it was another day I lived to overcome. Another day that made you stronger even though you may not feel that now. I don't know if I'm rambling now or not or if your getting what I'm trying to say. Live and Love, Live and Learn, Live and let Live. Peace to you Tony!
Posted by anotherdaze on 2008-07-10 00:05:43


		OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eyes still goggling out ,dumbfounded........i clicked on it i was 90%sure my eyes were decieving me i saw my name there!!!!!!!!!! a post for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow,thanx so much tony................it really touched me i never knew any1 xcept angels knew i was here!!!!!!!!!! n yes dear,i wasnt bored n m sorry if i intervened ...........but i cud feel ur pain ,i wanted 2 kno d luv story somehow..........m very sry n i hadnt counted how many comments i had left n i had never thought u wud notice......... (hav read much more than i hv commented!) but u did make me laugh ,i jst do wot my heart tells me .....n i end up being stupid at times........cant help it!!!!! (well... it ws no use goin through all ur stuff as u hd already read mine;);)................. but gettin a friend n A GOOD FRIEND is far more IMPORTANT!!!!! THANX 4 BEING MY FRIEND N THANX IN A MILLION 4 WRITIN A POST that HAD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELL..............M STILL BREATHLESS I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this aint a dream!!!!
Posted by thoughtXpress on 2008-07-10 01:03:37


		oh dear i 4got d most imp thing.........((in my pleasant shock)) I M ALWAYS THERE WHENEVER U NEED A FRIEND good friends r the best thing that a person can hav in his life........:):):):) never think u r alone:):):) love does win.....it doesnt matter u get it or not......the luvable memories dat u get2cherish r awesome!
Posted by thoughtXpress on 2008-07-10 01:07:31


		m sry dear m actin so stupid............. but i cudnt help it....m so xcited:):):).........i read it all over again n 2 tell u,i didnt understand head or tail of hallowed halls n house that Ben built!!!! n if its anything local .....or anything to do wid dialect i jst wudnt kno!!!
Posted by thoughtXpress on 2008-07-10 01:26:39


		Just letting you know that i am here for you too. See there is no short of friends for a guy like you hun.
Posted by misselusive on 2008-07-10 07:48:03


		Everyone o thoughts is here for you hun. <3
Posted by angel_devil on 2008-07-10 08:22:08


		thank you all for the wonderful replies. again I love you all. and look thoughtXpress gets all excited, thats so cute! anyway thank you sp much for being true friends.
Posted by tonyrayhutchison on 2008-07-10 11:01:15